I wanna start by saying that it’s obviously a me problem (23M). I simply don’t know what to do, nor do I even know if I have it in me. I’m not an attractive guy, I have a weird face and body. Even my family has been honest and said I’m not attractive. All I have is height.
But yea, I’ve probably talked to 100 girls in the last year and a half and never once has it ended in any further communication or a date.
Things I’ve done to improve myself.
1: 2 years in the gym losing over 100lbs
2: new clothes and hair styles. None have worked to get a date
3: Decent job. Not rich but I have enough to spend here and there.
4: I’ve had multiple dating coaches. Both of which have given up on me.
I’m at my wits end. I see guys who look like they never take care of themselves get very pretty girls. Tried tinder and never got a match over the 4 months I had it. My approach is reasonable, I always make small talk and try to find common interests, then I ask if they want to do something sometime. It just never works. I feel entirely defeated at this point. I’m not even hopeful when I approach a girl now due to the amount of rejection.
5 comments
Are you in therapy at all?
Do you just approach any female person? 100 in 18 months is wild. I’m sensing desperation.
*- I always make small talk*
Small talk is usually boring and does not build attraction or interest. Small talk tends to be superficial and doesn’t reveal much about your personality or values.
To build attraction and interest in someone, it’s important to engage in deeper, more meaningful conversations that allow you to get to know each other on a deeper level. This can involve asking questions about their interests, goals, and values, and sharing your own thoughts and experiences.
Additionally, it’s important to show confidence, humor, and a sense of adventure when interacting with someone you are interested in. Being playful, spontaneous, and showing genuine interest in their life can make them feel more attracted to you.
*- Try to find common interests.*
Common interests makes the conversation platonic at best,it does not lead into something romantic, emotional or sexual.
*- then I ask if they want to do something sometime.*
Using ambiguous language such as “do something sometime” can make it sound like you are not sure of what you want or that you are afraid of being rejected. This can come across as insecurity, which is not attractive.
Asking someone out on a date typically requires more direct and clear communication than simply asking if they want to do something sometime.
When asking someone out, it is important to express your interest in them romantically and specifically suggest a date or activity that you would like to do with them.
This might be a problem with mental health, social skills, or dating skills (never initiating with women, being too platonic, being too needy).
I got rejected over 3,000 times before I started excelling in my dating life. I can help you out, inbox me.