Like if someone seems short with me, it gets into my head that they’re upset with me somehow. Yet I can’t find a reason. Just more like today they resent my existence somehow. Maybe something I said, or a certain way I acted. But I cannot pinpoint the exact reason. It in turn makes me awkward and quiet. So I inadvertently come off as the one who’s mad.
I used to have a habit of asking someone “what’s wrong?” Or “are you ok?”. And it got annoying. My dad does the same thing so I can understand why it’s annoying.
I guess I can attribute it to having adhd. Overthinking shit all the time lol
17 comments
The good news is that no one cares about you enough to resent your existence
I overthink literally everything, so yes. I’ve trained myself to think “no one else is thinking this much about it, drop it”.
Absolutely. And most of the time, they just have their own things going on in their life that they’re stressed about, but you probably assume it’s about you. As a very sensitive person, I do the same thing, and it’s a hard habit to break.
Used to. A lot. Went hand-in-hand with a habit of blaming myself for everything.
Now I just don’t care.
Yes, I used to and it took me years to understand I grew up in a co-dependent home. I spent years in counseling but once I started going to al anon, those feeling left me.
There’s lots of books on how to be secure in your masculinity and how to embrace manly virtues – almost all of them say that caring less about the opinions of those around you is a good thing.
If you want some advice from an older man, go find some of those and read them. Look for positive ones, avoid any negative statements like “toxic masculinity” and anything that tries to make you ashamed for being who you are.
You got this.
Not really. I’ve grown to realise that sometimes people can get mad at you for no reason at all, even for something you haven’t done whether it’s them being stressed, having family issues, their own problems it’s most of the time not your fault.
The only time you should think about people who are mad at you is if you directly stoked that reaction in them. If you know you’ve done something wrong to upset that person then you should think about it otherwise no.
People don’t give that much of a fuck about you m
Yes I used to do that a lot. And I got meds for anxiety and started going to therapy. It’s much less of an issue now.
This is called codependency, my friend.
I try to be considerate in all my daily interactions, so if people get mad at me, either I inadvertently messed up, in which case I own it and try to make amends, or that’s their problem and I don’t give a shit what they think.
I’m certainly not carrying the burden of thinking why some craze got mad for some stupid reason that is all in their heads
I used to be that way, but then I started seeing a therapist. After a few sessions, we came to the conclusion that why I thought that way was because of all the abuse and trauma that I suffered throughout my childhood.
Now? I don’t care as much and if those thoughts came back again, I would simply remind myself that I’m not responsible for anyone’s emotions and/or actions.
Nah, usually I just feel invisible, few people care enough to be mad at me.
Learn to not give a fuck
Many people do not care or are thinking what you are thinking. Hell alot of the time you may think they hate you but they are just thinking about dinner. Id say trust their actions and words over your intuition. If you have to ask, do it mininally
“Do you ever constantly overthink that people are mad at you?”
No.
“If so, how do you deal with it?”
Most people don’t even think about you most days. When they do it’s when they’re talking to you. 5 minutes later (if even that) of not being around you people aren’t really going to think about their interaction with you.
So yeah most people aren’t mad at you.
Plot twist they are.