so i’m at my usual cafe, spending my day off crocheting and relaxing. there’s a really cute guy right across from me (mid-late 20s) reading, and i would love to shoot my shot somehow.
i’ve heard men on here make comments about how it’s really attractive for a woman to make the first move. but i don’t want to be a creep. i was considering leaving a little note on a napkin with my number on it, but would that be weird?
i hope this doesn’t come off as inconsiderate or tone-deaf. i’m just confused on how to shoot my shot with a stranger, or if i should at all
thanks in advance (:
12 comments
Just walk up and ask him if you ever wants to meet you back there for a cup of coffee or you can say would ever want to grab a drink, I saw you I had to try.
Be honest, it won’t hurt but could really help!
My girl asked me out and it was the best thing to ever happen to me because I ended up with her and couldn’t be happier.
Ask for his opinion on a new color or design for your crotchet (“I was debating between X and X, what do you think”) or either ask about his book or google the book to make a connection that way to talk to him, and have the conversation happen to ask for his number that way. Going up to him would show more confidence and interest plus less creepy than just leaving phone number on a napkin.
You are alone, he is alone. Ask whether he would mind some company. He might turn this down, since he is reading. But he might just as well be reading, because he is alone there…
If he finds you physically attractive, though, he will put the book down either way and invite you over.
Guys aren’t as creeped out by women approaching us and asking for our number as women are when we do that. Mostly because women have this stereotype that men only want sex. Which granted is a valid reason. If you want to do the napkin idea, it could be cute and that way it’ll give him the chance to decide if he wants to get to know you too or not. But if you want immediate results, just go up to him and talk to him. You might find that you don’t like him as much as you think you do or you might be in the making of a first date.
“Hi, what are you reading?”
Approach his table, grab something off his plate, plant one foot on the opposite chair, look him square in the eyes and eat what you took off his plate. Do not break eye contact until you’ve finished eating.
Then non-chalantly say “Since we’re eating together we must be on a date.” Then take your seat across from him.
be very careful of the advice you hear on this sub. a lot of the men here get no female attention and would obviously be delighted if a woman hit on them.
in reality, your success rate and whether he likes it will depend on how attractive you are.
The napkin thing is perfect ! If you are shy sure its cute ! Especialy if you cant just talk to him its better. Could beheave weird with shyness sooooo that makes it easier for both of you.
People are different i would thing. “Wow that was cute i guess she is shy.” Nothing more nothing bad. I would even prefer it so it would be at bit more relaxed for me too. But of course i dont know this guy sooooo yeah but in generall its fine.
Even for other people if i would be there and see you two i would think that this is cute. Talking to him and beheaving weirdly i would think “wtf room full of weirdos here”. lol
Hand him a note with your phone number
Walk up, hold out your hand, and say “Hi. I’m soandso. I saw you from across the way and would like to sit and talk with you. Is that ok?”
“I don’t want to be a creep.”
Gonna give it to you straight- You are a woman. The chances of you accidentally coming off as creepy are almost nil. Just pick whatever method is most comfortable for you.
Napkin is fine. Men being cold approached don’t feel the same way as women being cold approached, so if you want to be a little bit more direct, it probably wouldn’t be a bad thing, assuming he is single ofc.