how can I stop slut shaming?
Me 20M, and my older sister were raised in extremely puritan family and now she has bf and she is avoiding him whenever he wants to escalate it and she also wants it, but she is afraid she will be slut.
I also want to be with my gf, but problem is that my mother convinced me that most women are angels and I am afraid I will make her in slut, and I just can’t
I had opportunities prior to be with some girls but whenever I wanted to be with them, sisters and mother would looked me like I am going to be with some dirty whore, and eventually I gave up.
It’s so hard man. They consider them sluts idk
My father never wanted to discuss stuff with me and therefore I don’t have any male role model nor peers want to talk about it to me, they are like, learn all on your own.
Please help,
P.S.
We don’t have money for therapy
12 comments
you dont, people are allowed to have opinions on others. You saying them out loud is the determining factor of being a dick
Quit being mad someone gets laid more than you
Therapy is the way. And distance yourself from your toxic family.
**Grow up**. I just wanted to let you know that’s the only advice you need.
>I also want to be with my gf, but problem is that my mother convinced me that most women are angels and I am afraid I will make her in slut, and I just can’t
>I had opportunities prior to be with some girls but whenever I wanted to be with them, sisters and mother would looked me like I am going to be with some dirty whore, and eventually I gave up. It’s so hard man. They (mother, sisters) consider them sluts idk
i’m so confused by what you’re saying. are most women angels or sluts?
you don’t need a role model. you already know this is ridiculous.
First, you need to figure out what being a slut means. What does it mean to be a “dirty whore?” Obviously, your mom isn’t talking about women who have sex for money.
So, is everyone who has sex outside of marriage a slut & a dirty whore? Do you believe that?
You really have to logic your way through this.
The word “slut” has to have a specific meaning to you, and THEN you have to decide if there’s anything shameful about being what you think a slut is. Is it really shameful, or is it just human?
First, you need to figure out what being a slut means. What does it mean to be a “dirty whore?” Obviously, your mom isn’t talking about women who have sex for money.
So, is everyone who has sex outside of marriage a slut & a dirty whore? Do you believe that?
You really have to logic your way through this.
The word “slut” has to have a specific meaning to you, and THEN you have to decide if there’s anything shameful about being what you think a slut is. Is it really shameful, or is it just human?
If you’re serious, it seems like you need to keep asking more…
Why do we have sex in the first place?
The function of sex is to create more copies of your DNA. Your body uses hormones and the dopamine electrochemical pathways in your body to encourage you to pursue sex.
But we have sex for more than reproduction, right?
Since we are not as cognitively simple as rats, cats, and bats, we humans use sex like any other various drug now: for bonding, manipulation, and especially profit.
How?
Thanks to inventions such as birth control, abortions, and condoms, women have 100% control over who gets born or doesn’t after sex happens. Men and women still choose who is allowed to partake in the act itself. (Assuming adherance to laws)
Should I be having sex?
If you want to make a baby or partake in the drug of sex, yes. (Feels amazing)
It’s like asking…Should you drink coffee, alcohol, smoke weed, eat processed food, do cocaine, do meth?
Look what happens to people who do them. If the consequences are worth the logical, philosophical, and emotional payoff, do it. Otherwise, don’t.
Find out the results you want.
What are the results of casual sex for men and women?
It doesn’t seem to be good for people in the longterm according reputable sources, but it sure feels good in the moment.
What are some ways to overcome phobias (of thinking you’re a “slutmaker”?
Perhaps you will be. Men will always be affected by his perception of a woman’s promiscuity. It has real implications about personality which, again, has been quantifiably proven. Regardless, some proven methods to overcome the FEAR of something are exposure therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy, and doing research. Porn, sex, and peer-reviewed articles will likely help you if you deem casual sex a worthy pursuit.
OKay so the definiton of a slut is “having many partners.” So, unless you’re bringing more partners to the equation she cannot be a slut. By definition.
Also, to me, sluts are a good thing. How the Hell is being inexperienced a bonus?
The absolute state of this sub, wtf
[Tradition is the democracy of the dead](https://www.chesterton.org/democracy-of-the-dead/).
You have a whole bunch of voices in your head telling you what *they* accepted and believed. But they’re the voices of dead people. The voices come to you through your parents, who had the same voices of the dead in their heads, and who accepted what the voices said. And a repeating drum beat of these voices is the message to enforce the belief on those who come after you. The message keeps looping around, perpetuating itself like a broken machine.
That’s it. That’s what stands in judgement of you and of your sister. Ask yourself if it’s fair to judge your sister harshly because of the voices of a horde of dead people who all just repeated what they had been told.
And if it doesn’t seem fair, stop punishing yourself, stop punishing your sister, and stop being an agent of the dead punishing people who are living.
First step: form your own opinions and make your own decisions outside of your mother and sisters. You’re 20 years old now , time to put on your big boy pants and venture outside mommy’s nest