I am m21 who has been dating my gf(also 21) for around a year and a half now and all is going very well. My gf doesn’t have many friends and she has one main best friend (f20) who she has been friends with for years.
At the start of our relationship this friend hated me for stealing her friend away (she has told me this) and didn’t want anything to do with me. However after around 8 months of my gf and I dating my relationship with her friend has almost 180’d. Which I was all for as I obviously wanted to be friends with my gfs best friend now roommate.
However recently I feel things going in a direction I don’t like yet I may be overacting to nothing hence my post. In hanging out 1 on 1 we found we are actually very similar people, music food beer etc leading us to message and hang out more 1on1 something we would never have done ( my gf knowing whenever we do) and then other things have done from this where my issue is starting to lie. She messages me directly rather than our gc, when we hang out she often wants to get drunk and turns conversations onto my gf, how she’s annoying, overreacts etc and other things like finding out I go to the gym and her wanting to join the same one seemingly out the blue. She is now increasingly hanging out with me over both of us or just my gf.
Tl:dr Is this something I’m catching early or just completely overreacting to unrelated events. My gf sees no issue
Many thanks
6 comments
Talk to your girlfriend about it and see how she feels. Communication is key.
Why are you hanging out with her by yourself if you know that she’s trying to get back at your girlfriend for dating you in the first place? That’s incredibly disrespectful to your girlfriend.
Does your girlfriend know you are hanging one on one with her friend? I recommend that you stop that. And ignore her one on one texts. You’re setting yourself up for drama. If you want to date her or another woman, first break up with your girlfriend. If you want to stay with your girlfriend, stop all this behavior.
And when you said it leads to other actions, what do you mean? Did you kiss? Did you do more than kiss? Smh… you know better.
Don’t message her directly. Don’t hang out with her on your own. Talk to your gf about this
I think it could be perfectly reasonable to have a friendship with a partners friend. What is not reasonable is this “friend” trying to undermine your relationship with your GF. If they’re not a friend of your relationship they’re not a friend of yours, or hers.
In your case, this person is a bad person to spend time with, continuing to hang out 1 on 1 with her is only going to cause drama.
It’s understandable to enjoy the attention she’s giving you now in some capacity, but she’s straight up showing you she’s conceited and is trying to stir up conflict somewhere in your life, whether she’s trying to steal you away or just break you and your GF up to regain her status as #1 in GFs life is unclear, but either way it’s bad news.
Jerk off before you respond to any of her invitations to hang out 1 on 1 is my practical suggestion.
I’d end the 1:1 texts and hangouts. There’s just no need for it, whether she is crushing on you or not. Does your gf know she’s talking shit about your gf when your gf isn’t around? I imagine that would change what your gf thinks about the situation.