My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost a year. He is a professional athlete and has a match coming up in his hometown in a few weeks. He has invited me to go with him, and while I’m honored and excited to go with him and meet all his people, I am very anxious.
At these events, the spotlight is on him. Which I understand. He works hard and is good at what he does. It just feels awkward sometimes when people look right through me and go straight to him. He will introduce me, and people will shake my hand and everything, but then they’ll brush past me and go take pictures with him. And when we go out after to celebrate, of course all they want to talk about is the match/the sport.
I am introverted naturally, but I have no problem talking to people. In these situations though, I have absolutely nothing to contribute because I am still learning about the sport. I end up freaking out internally because I wonder if I come across as rude or just a mute or something because I don’t know how to participate in the convo. They use different jargon and everything.
I am an accomplished woman in my own right, and sometimes it just sucks that nobody cares to get to know me. Whenever I bring him around my circles, people include him in conversation. But I know these matches are about my boyfriend and for him, so I need to learn how to be comfortable in the discomfort.
I am just asking if you ladies have any tips for how to carry myself in these situations. I want to be confident and let him enjoy the spotlight without feeling like a nobody.
Tl;dr: boyfriend is a pro athlete, and I will be going to my first match of his. How can I make a good impression and fit in with people around him when all the spotlight will be on him?
3 comments
you dont.
you arent going there to make friends or to show everyone how awesome you are in your own right, you are going to give him support and be there for him.
keep doing what you are doing and its all fine, dont try to be a protagonist at his thing
It really depends on how these events are supposed to go.
If your bf is supposed to be the center of attention and you aren’t as famous as him (or from the same professional field), you will likely be regarded as just his companion. Likewise if he’s expected to mingle with many people to establish professional connections and talk business, where it would be counterproductive to include unrelated people (you, other companions) in the conversation.
Chances are that most of these people really won’t care about anyone but your bf and what he does, no matter how interesting of a person you are. These events are, after all, for publicity and connections, not for regular socializing.
Your best bet here would probably be to socialize with other women: maybe start with some light chit-chat after your bf introduces you to someone, or keep your ears peeled for any conversations/groups you can insert yourself into.
Sounds like these aren’t truly social events, they’re more promo events for his work. So think of them like that – he’s at work, and you’re doing him a favour by supporting him while he works. Smile, make small talk, whatever. The nights about him so don’t use normal social event rules to try and measure your “performance.”