I need any and all advice on how best to earn back the trust from someone you love and have hurt.
Have had issues with lying/omitting as well as online infidelity in my most recent relationship. I want to take accountability for what I have done and how it has affected my partner but still be able to reconcile and grow a future with her.
Any good books or podcasts or anecdotes that could help are greatly appreciated.
Thank you.
6 comments
Have you tried turning it off and on?
You can’t really fix it. It will never be the same again. You done fucked up, boi. It’s up to her at this point. All you can do is stay on the straight and narrow and hope.
Couple’s therapy
You won’t. It can take years if not decades to try and repair that level of betrayal and it never returns to it’s prior level.
Your relationship dynamic has forever been altered. Everything you say, do or even think at this point will be looked at under a microscope or questioned silently.
The smallest change of behaviors in you will generate a negative response in your partner.
Are you actually late frim work? Or flirting with coworkers. Are you actually with friends and family? Or meeting someone at a hotel? Are you actually going to the store? Or is it an excuse to contact an affair partner?
Every mundane task you attempt where your partner is right there with you will be looked at through a microscope. There is a reason why the largest majority of relationships involving infidelity ends.
The stress it causes from the fall out takes too harsh of a toll. It isn’t fair to the partner to feel like they have to question everything and it isn’t fair to the infidelity partner to live their life on eggshells.
Trustworthy behavior stretching over a long time period is the only way to earn trust back.
You cant.