They’ve been together since 2016, got married at the end of 2021, and recently had a baby. I don’t want to break up their family, but I need to tell him what’s going on. How do I tell him?
How I found out: I heard a rumor that it was going on, so I searched the internet all weekend. I ended up finding tweet replies on the guy she’s cheating on him with’s Twitter that gave me all the proof I need.
26 comments
Tell him, absolutely! Really, you just need to put yourself in his shoes. If he found out your wife was cheating on you, would you not want to know?
Tell him!! If your spouse cheated, would you want to know ? Or you want to be naive for the rest of your life ??
I’m going to repeat a response I made in a similar thread: I have seen some heart-wrenching stories in this and similar subs from the point of view of the spouse being cheated on. Some of those involved mutual friends knowing about the affair and remaining silent, and in some cases even encouraging the infidelity. In all of those cases the victim wished that one of those friends had told him/her.
I am most definitely going to tell him. I’m asking for the best way to tell him. I would want him to let me know if it was happening to me
I’m glad you’re firm on telling him, that’s the right thing to do. Doing it in person is better than over the phone, over the phone is better than an email, and even an email is better than a text.
If you can get some time alone with him to talk that’s probably the ideal way. Don’t beat around the bush, just tell him what you know and how.
How do you tell him?
Just meet up with him face to face n tell the truth as is.
Well, I would definitely take screenshots of the tweet replies. It’s always better when you have solid proof. Any chance you can get more proof from the people you heard the rumor from? Curious how those people found out? The same tweets, maybe? (Pretty ballsy to flirt/cheat so publicly I must say). Then I would ask him to either come hang out at your house or maybe take him to a bar where you guys could have some privacy. And just let him know about the rumors and then show him the tweets. That’s about all you can do. And from there, the ball is in his court. You’re a good friend.
The person I heard it from, heard it from the man in the couple that she is cheating with. The guy in the couple was bragging to the guy I heard it from about how him and his wife were fucking her, and my friend has no clue it’s going on.
As another poster said, tell him in person and while sober. However, don’t be shocked if he doesn’t do anything about it.
Cheating with a couple (instead of an individual) is pretty darn unusual. They might have a kink-centered open/swinger relationship that they don’t discuss in public. If that is the case, it might appear from your end that he does nothing because what is going on is within their limits.
You just take proof and you just let him see the proof. There is absolutely no way that it is going to be easy and there is no easy way.
There’s not gonna be a good way to tell him. So just tell him.
That said, idk if it’s just me reading into what you said, but “gave me all the proof I need” doesn’t sound like proof to me. You need proof. I hope you indeed have it.
You are heavily invested in this. You spent the whole weekend searching? And your evidence is a rumor and a tweet?
Are you sure you don’t want to ruin his family? It seems a but obsessive to spend a whole weekend chasing down a rumor about someone Else’s wife.
Let’s get one thing straight… you did NOT break up their family.. she did .. by stepping out!
You dont break up their family you save him and his child from an even worse outcome
She broke up the family the second she decidet to cheat
In person, with proof.
And be ready…very little chance it’s going to be received well and probably isn’t going to go how you think it should
tell him straight with proof……. tell him you didn’t want to be the one to tell him but you couldn’t not tell him. and make sure you are both sober and clear headed.
Tell him in person, and do NOT mention anything through text, or a phone call email etc etc. The wife might be monitoring and that could impact his ability to form a good legal case.
Just say you want to catch up over lunch or something one day, business as usual. I wouldn’t drop this news in the restaurant or another public place though. You never know what kind of reaction he may have and he might want privacy.
Tell him you need to talk privately at some point next time you see him (completely out of the presence of the wife or anyone else).
*Edit: typo
How are these tweets proof? It sounds like it’s just some guy talking. No proof she’s seeing him.
If you were being cheated on would you want to know? Yes tell him
I recently had a very similar experience where I discovered what I thought was a friend’s spouse on a dating site, as I’m single. I told my friend what I found and although it turned out not to be her, he was very thankful that I let him know.
Good Luck
First off, unless you have undeniable proof that she is cheating on him, I wouldn’t flat out accuse her of that. I would find some way to anonymously inform him with the source you have and let him dig out his own information. Just telling someone that their wife is absolutely cheating on them is a good way to lose a friend, especially if he has no clue. It is a sticky situation but he does need to know.
“I really dont know the right way to say this, but i found out that your wife is cheating on you. Iam sorry to tell you this, but i dont want to keep my mouth shut. You deserve to know the truth and that I’ll always be by your side and support you”
I don’t think it is really your business
Lol bro that might not even be his baby dog
Provide proof with her present. And bring along others as well to provide as much support as possible.
I don’t think rumors and tweet of some individuals are proof that she cheated. You can tell him but if you’re wrong, you will lose a friend. If you’re really invested in helping him, you should gather a bit more evidence. Or you can share these tweets and let him know about the rumor going around, I would stay clear in flat out accusing her without proof though.