How do you deal with your significant other’s negativity?

12 comments

1. I let them be negative. That has nothing to do with me. If they want to be bitter about their day then let them and go on with yourself. You can’t control others and sometimes people just need a moment on their own.

2. My SO is super negative but I just let him be like that. I do catch it rubbing off on me some, especially during bad spells. I try to just laugh it off though.

3. Being too negative is a deal breaker for me, because it will make me unhappy.

   But if my partner is being more negative than normal I will try to talk to them about it to see what is going on.

4. Just let them vent. They might need to get it off their chest. Offer a few words of comfort, ask if they want any advice, but don’t get dragged into their negativity.

5. Some people just wanna moan and groan once in a while. As long as that’s not their only/constant state, and they’re bringing me down with them.. let it be.

6. Ask if there’s anything I can do to help/support them

7. Depends? Is it like a condescending attitude or just lack of enthusiasm? I dealt with the lack of enthusiasm and the lack of interest which made me feel alone. So I guess now I’d rather be alone then being with a lover a feeling alone.

8. My husband used to be the biggest “negative Nancy.” I had to have several deep conversations about how that made me feel. He finally decided after several years to make a conscious change. He still has moments but they are a fraction of what they once were. It was the effort on his end to improve that made the difference

9. I ignore it

10. We usually get into a fight and then he backtracks. Real healthy.

11. I don’t. I don’t date negative people.

12. I’m on the other side — I am a pessimist, and I only date people that are much more optimistic than I am.

    I like having conversations where my partner lets me see the good side of things. If your partner is open to conversations like this, I would suggest you try the same.

    Some people just like aimlessly wallowing though, and this type of conversation would most likely not work. Aimless wallowers are quite toxic in the long term. If your partner has repeated negative behavior that has no purpose and does not recognize it as a problem, I would have a conversation about this. Negativity from your partner can seriously affect your quality of life, and you should protect that to the best of your abilities.