My wife has recently been gaining an unnoticeable amount of weight to me, however she has noticed her clothes fitting differently and it’s beginning to bother her. I have reassured her that while I understand her feeling uncomfortable, that she shouldn’t worry too much as it’s not apparent.
The issue is I have always had an affinity toward bigger women and a weight gain fetish, while simultaneously understanding the need to compartmentalize this as it is an unhealthy/unrealistic thing to expect out of any normal relationship. I have never disclosed this to my wife and don’t plan to. I plan on supporting her in any capacity whether it be working out together/ eating healthier, however the thought of her gaining weight is constantly going through my mind and has skyrocketed my sex drive for her. I am looking for advice on how to look past this fetish based attraction and not constantly think about it in order to avoid objectifying my wife. Any thoughts would be appreciated
5 comments
Honestly just keep doing what you’re doing. If she’s wanting to eat healthy and work out more by all means be supportive. The fact that you’re doing that and not trying to sabotage it for your fetish shows that you care more about her then that already.
You don’t want your fetish to hurt her by encouraging unhealthy habits. That said enjoy her.
I gained weight after having my kids. In the time I’ve been with my husband, I’ve gone up about 20 pounds or so. I notice it. No one else really does. My husband takes time to actually pay attention to my insecure areas in the bedroom. He kisses and caresses my saggy belly fat. He holds my thighs a little tighter. He makes efforts to make me feel sexy and beautiful in my changing body. It’s helped me a lot to feel more comfortable with myself and worry/care less about my weight or how I carry said weight.
You’re doing the right thing by encouraging her to do what makes her feel good. Just make sure you’re appreciating her, too.
I would want to know what my husband finds attractive in an individual.
I could see how bringing this up could go a variety of directions, although I think it is important to understand from her perspective, as well as yours.
A kink is something that makes sexy time extra sexy/spicy. A fetish is needing a thing for sexy time to happen/satisfy.
Fetishizing a person is when you sefishly reduce them down to a sex object to be used for your fetish, and stop caring about their comfort and consent.
Are you actually afraid of dehumanizing your wife? Or are you just not understanding the difference between a little kinky ass worship and degradation?