I (m24) have reached a level of social skills where I don’t have to second guess my worth when I talk to people
I achieved this by tapping into a sarcastic angle of myself that I kept hidden for years and my number of friends exploded in less than two months (I had people crying of laughter for stuff that I said.)
I have still have to work on applying to dating but I feel like when there are girls who are interested in me this attitude turns me into some sort of never ending tease that leads to nothing or I feel like I’m too approachable.
I don’t have much experience with girls as I’m working on my fear of approach (I did for my first time two weeks ago but the girls in question didn’t speak any of the language I speak).
My main fear is that this behavior while
beneficial on a friendship or work level (i work in hospitality and my reviews have skyrocketed after this ) it may not work on an intimacy level.
When it comes to appearance I feel like I’m above average as I’m 6’3, buff and look like a viking ( greenish blue eyes, red beard )even though I’m from the deep south of a mediterranean country so I stick out a lot but I feel like I struggle more than others when it comes to dating
2 comments
Yes sarcasm is a big turn off for me. Some people live off of it though, so just be with ppl who get it.
My view is that sarcasm is often defensive strategy and that’s one reason it turns some people off. It can come across as a “wall” — if that makes sense. Some people respond really well to that, because they themselves don’t want to open up so staying in a sarcastic/humorous zone feels (maybe subconsciously) safe.
I myself find sarcasm/irony/dead pan humor pretty funny, but if that’s all I’m seeing from someone, I’m not going to feel very close to them. In order to foster intimacy, you’ll have to find the right moments to drop it.
Congrats on feeling more confident in yourself! It’s also important to remember that not everyone is going to dig it, and that’s okay. You can’t appeal to everyone. Dating takes time, but you can definitely meet people who appreciate your sense of humor and can joke along with you.