A new acquaintance sent me an IG ad for a speed dating event in my area. It’s at a wine bar, ages between 30-50 and it’s limited to 20 men and 20 women. Thirty dollar cover charge.
I’ve heard of this sort of thing before but never been to one. Is it a good idea? Has anyone had a good experience at one of these events? Any success stories?
22 comments
I’ve had a lot of fun at the 2 events I’ve been to. Depends entirely on how good of a job the organizer does in sourcing quality people, but Id say go for it. Go for a laugh and at worst you meet some interesting people and have a fun story, at best you find an actual date.
I’ve always been kinda awkward and truthfully went to a few just to practice conversing with different people.
The idea of it is what you make it. If you plan on walking out with a soul mate after one event, you didn’t enjoy the moment of it.
I’d say it’s something out of the ordinary to do and gives you a glimpse into talking to different people/personalities.
Been to two. One was awkward because I ran into a certain someone there and it kinda ruined it. The other was great except the organizer never bothered to email anyone their follow up matches. Once they got their money and the event was over the organizer must have decided her job was done.
I say go for it. Just don’t go in with any sort of expectations.
I went to one a couple of weeks ago and it was a group of pretty attractive women and men with ZERO social skills (some of their opening lines…eeeeesh). It was interesting from an anthropological perspective (clearly lots of the men think talking very loudly about money is going to make me fall into their arms) but from a dating perspective…no. May vary depending on many factors, of course.
my experience:
First time: met someone I was interested enough to go on a few dates with.
Second time: was open to going on dates with one of the people I talked to, they didn’t contact me though and I wasn’t sure enough about it to reach out myself.
My 2 friends who I met at speed dating:
First time: no go
Second time (one girl went): several dates with one guy. We shall see
There’s definitely some awkward people there who struggle to hold a convo, don’t get me wrong, and I got annoyed last time by how many people (3/8) in my cohort were from another state and didn’t seem interested in moving, but it can definitely help to get 1 on 1 time with people.
I would say, go for it. You have nothing to lose. Maybe 30 dollars.
I have been to one so far and I had a good time. Met some nice women my age and had some nice conversations with the men. I didn’t have any matches, as I didn’t like any of the men, but I find it very efficient. Our group consisted of 9 men and 10 women between the ages of 35 and 45.
Compared to OLD, where you have to make a profile, swipe yourself silly, match, chat for a couple of days, plan a meeting etc. Speed dating is more efficient in my eyes.
I live near DC and have been to a handful of them via different companies:
1. If you are female, you will see LOTS OF MEN. The ones I went to usually have 1.5:1 M:F ratio
2. The “age range” is a suggestion because they can’t “discriminate”. Just like the “themed events” I went to – asians, graduate degrees, 30s, 40s etc. They all have fine print saying “anyone can join and this is themed event”.
3. If you never been to one then take a shot at it – if it goes horribly you lost 30$ and dont need to go again.
4. It seems that if you are “matched”, you might get discounts or free pass as return dater… it happened to me and even then it was not worth driving ~40 min and pay 15$ parking (or in food bill)…
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I had maybe couple of dates out of it but nothing really worthwhile because its such a crapshoot what kind of person could be there. One event i had 5 divorcee with kids in a row and another event i had someone in 50s and she even said “you are too young for me…”
I’ve always wanted to try this. I’ve been in a relationship for most of my adult life so I have never had the chance. But now that the relationship has come to an end, I would definitely like to give this a try.
I think you have to come in with low expectations as to not being disappointed after the event
Went to one, didn’t have any luck with the ladies but hung around with a few of the guys and had new drinking buddies for the evening afterwards where we compared notes. Was an ok evening. Not been to another since.
I am so glad I went to one of these events. I didn’t get any dates out of it, but I did make one friend (another female at the event). Also, these are the same guys on the apps, so I ended up seeing pretty much all of them on the apps later and didn’t bother to waste my time with them.
It’s an efficient way to meet a bunch of people at once and get a small taste of what they’re like. I also found it a fun experience with the bell and taking notes and moving around. Worst case scenario, you dress up once, drink some good wine, and go on 20 mini bad dates, which is a lot more fun than going on one bad date at a time. The cover charge sounds reasonable, and if the location is convenient to you, I’d say go for it!
It’s very early 00’s but I’d rather do this than OLD truth be told
Go for it then report back to the sub on your experience 😉
I’m going to one for the first time next week! Going with a friend (we’re both women, 30+) on the basis that even if it’s disastrous we have a friendly face on the bus ride home after. From my perspective, I’m on the apps with some success with following through to dates, but a lot of guys I match with often live quite far away – because the event is super local to me, that adds a bit of a bonus in that the guys are likely to be from round here too. The switch-up to meeting people IRL first is like the apps in reverse, so why not give it a whirl. This has been a really interesting thread to read to prep, so thanks for asking the question! We should compare notes on expectations v reality after!
Been to two. 5 minutes per person, I just asked for show recommendations and talked about what they enjoyed.
Good way to meet people if you’re not already meeting someone new everyday.
I stopped going cause the organizer is quite disorganized and petty lol
Men usually paid double and women get steep discounts eg 50% off, with buy one get one on top, so they also may be less invested
It’s good if you want to get rid of any anxieties. It’s a social exercise
I went to a speed dating event about 10 years ago. First off, even though there were an even amount of men and women registered (12 of each) all 12 men showed up while only 8 women did. Also, it looked like all the women had attended with at least one other friend while the men seemed to attend solo. After the event was done the women went back to their friends while most of the guys left. I got one mutual match but when I tried contacting her I got no response. It just seemed like the women weren’t really serious about actually meeting anyone. I’m sure some of them compared their experiences and if a guy matched with one woman but didn’t match with her friend then her friend would try to talk her out of giving the guy a chance, or if he matched with both of them then they wouldn’t want to both date the same guy.
To be fair, that was 10 years ago when I was in my 20s. Maybe women in their 30s and beyond will be more serious about meeting someone at these events. I would be willing to try it again, but I wouldn’t put too much faith in it.
i mean, 30 dollars + some money on drinks to meet 20 women would be a W regardless of outcome. even if noone is a potential partner, look at it as an experience, whether it end up succesfull or not
I would like to try this, but the nearest one is over an hour away. Let us know how it goes!
If anything, I think this is good practice for just talking to people. A lot of people have issues approaching or breaking the ice.
Where do people find these events? I’ve always wanted to go
It’s definitely a good idea as long as you don’t go in with crazy expectations. You may not meet the love of your life (or maybe you will), but you will get great practice talking to people and gathering information.
Go with the intention that you’ll learn something about yourself and what you’re looking for. Go to practice managing your emotions and expectations. Go to practice showing up as your best self.
If you go with the right intentions, it will absolutely be worth it. And if you end up with a date or 2 from it, even better!
I went to one with a friend once, about ten years ago in the city where I used to live. We each got a date out it, mine forcibly kissed me at the end of the night after trying to get me to keep drinking and go back to his place, and hers kept texting her “hey” about once a week for months after. I don’t blame the speed dating for either of those issues and would do it again. As others have said it’s an efficient way to meet people and practice conversation.