At what point did you realize society doesn’t care for you, and more importantly, what have you done since then to cope?

34 comments

  2. I work a job that is literally caring for society and the community. So no, I don’t have this experience. But I believe this depends extremely in wich country you live.

  3. In my family we are educated at a young age that nobody in the world is required to love you and chances are most will try to hold you back.
    So we learn appreciation, independence, and friendship. So, we’re all ok as far as this topic is concerned.

  5. Gradually as a kid. And wtf can I do, force people to care? If I could do that, I could also brute-force my way out of my problems in less reprehensible ways.

  6. “Society” is not a thing with agency. Humanizing it by assigning it traits like caring for people is unlikely to lead to insightful conclusions.

  7. As an adult, you realize that only your family loves you and they are to be treasured. The rest of society doesn’t care if you live or die.

  8. Probably mid 20’s, single and away from my home town. Having to look at the world alone is a different perspective.

  9. I don’t know, but I don’t care much for society either so the feeling is reciprocal

  12. I was born with a cleft lip and palette, I was very a busted mug (still am), I learned almost immediately most wanted nothing to do with me. My 4th grade science teacher looked me dead in the face when talking about evolution and how mutations are not favored by the opposite gender. I grew up, instead, enthralled with books, they were my friends.

  13. Before adulthood. I am not comfortable digging into specific life stories.

    I can’t answer this without noting I am autistic. I’ve felt incongruent with societal expectations for as long as I can remember. I grew up in the American Bible Belt, where there is a specific and rigid expectation for what a boy growing into a man is supposed to be, do, say, believe, and act. I didn’t fit in that template for a variety of reasons, and I later learned I was a frequent subject of gossip and ridicule behind my back during my K-12 years.

    Aging has helped somewhat. You get out of that fish bowl, move to a larger place, establish yourself through education and a career path and you realize most people are just trying to carry on with their lives. I’ve gone from standing out to becoming invisible. People don’t even notice when I walk by now. This suits me. I can live this way for as long as I am physically and mentally able to support myself. I hope that is for many more years.

  14. Oh I know society gives less than two squirts of I live or die, but I’m not them. I’d rather do everything in my power to actually be better and be a bit of the change.

  15. Throughout last year. The understanding itself is kinda sad, but coping with it? Hell no, one of the most freeing feelings I’ve ever experienced. You are just a tiny little human in God knows how large of a universe. You can now do whatever the hell you want, cause nobody really cares, nobody ever did. When it all will come to an end, we’ll just disappear, so have fun with your life while you can.

  16. Depends on how we are defining society as that comes in many ways, shapes, and forms as well as being different dependent upon your age.

    When/where I grew up, I would say the society/community I was in cared plenty about me and helped me along the way.

    I work in education (at differing levels/types of orgs) – that part of society does care about others..albeit at differing levels.

    The larger definition of society- whether that be the country as a whole, etc. – well it’s yes and no – some parts care and some do not. It really comes down to your unique situation, understanding the ones who do and don’t and whether or not in some instances that even matters.

  18. This may sound very unhinged but on some level I kinda always knew it. I think it’s cuz my parents were kinda neglectful so I became conditioned to expect people not to care. Then kids would bully me cuz I was pretty much the only Asian in a mostly black neighborhood and made me feel like they hated me just for being alive.

    Nowadays my experience reaffirms that society as whole indeed doesn’t care and I actually enjoy it. Because with care comes expectations and unwanted attention.

  21. realised it after years of not being taken seriously by mental health professionals even after them knowingly about my self harm and multiple severe suicide attempts. coping strategy = try not to think about it.

  22. 30. When I turned 30 the truth hit me like a lightning bolt & I finally let it in. There is no magic trick, things are as awful as they appear. What you see is whats real.

    ​

    > what have you done since then to cope?

    I fantasize about leaving the country. I have been taking steps to make it a reality, but sometimes it feels like im on a hamster wheel. This whole country runs on selling people dreams instead of realities.

  24. I had no fallbacks for a very long time. Shitty family, virtually no nearby friends, lived in a slum (that passed for “arty” behind the razor wire fences).

    Things got better, but I still notice places outside where I might live with my dog if I become homeless. I think I always will. That sense of living on the edge of a cliff never goes away.

    It was incredibly lonely and frightening.

    No one should have to go through this.

  25. When a police officer murdered George Floyd on video and instead of it being recognized as wrong it became a national debate.

  26. JFC.

    I’ve learned so much about men here. And I’m really sorry about the very real bullshit all of you face in life.

    I really did see things from one perspective. I don’t anymore.

    Of course, as in all genders (?), assholes totally exist. Like the guy on the plane who ate a reeking sandwich. Or the loud woman who gave me shit for escaping before she did. BOTH of them majorly sucked.

    It goes both ways. Thank you for teaching this to me. And thank you for putting up with my presence here.

  28. Around 17y 18y, just realized that we all are equal human beings, some gets paid more, some less, some has a car, someone a bicycle, we all are trying to make a living, no one stands above you and you don’t stand above anyone else.

  29. when I realized that it doesn’t matter who you are, the system will always favor itself over the individual, and by not giving a fuck about society, I was born in it, I have to live in it, but that doesn’t mean I have to like it, I’m going to live the way I want to and fuck what everyone else thinks, I’m going to do whatever I can to give myself a life where I and my people can be happy, if that means not being a societal robot then so be it

  30. When I was like 23/24 and entered the working world. I had a tough time at first. But I’ve always enjoyed reading history in my spare time. So, at some point I started reading about pirates. Now I’m 30 years old and I’ve gotta admit I’ve really adopted the mentality of one. I also apply a lot of the lessons I learned from them to my daily life.

    The world is a shit hole – ok. Nobody cares about me and I am alone – also fine. But that’s a double-edged sword and a two-way street on which this world is now getting jack shit all out of me without giving me something in exchange. I live life exclusively for myself and don’t help make it a better place at all. I will do as I please if and when I please,and I don’t really care about how that makes others feel.

    I am a greedy, selfish, apathetic asshole who genuinely only cares about himself – and I am not sorry, and I do not feel guilty, and I don’t care that I am a bad person as a result. This world or anyone in it wants me to inconvenience myself in any way? There better be something in it for me. This world is not entitled to me putting in literally so much as an ounce of energy into being a “good man.”

    If this world doesn’t like it, then it can feel free to come get me, and hang me.🏴‍☠️

  32. When I entered the workforce.

    I responded by coasting. It’s a little bitter and I am contemplating alternatives. In the meanwhile, I do my best to avoid being just a little greasy cog that can be exploited for labor.

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