Me and my girlfriend have been fighting the past few weeks and keeps giving me the cold shoulder for saying my opinion that sex is important in a relationship. She’s saying that she lost her respect for me after my statement and judges me for wanting it like I’m a criminal. It seems like everything I say is invalid.
I’m not pressing her about it because I know we have different needs and am aware that she doesn’t want it and I respect that choice of hers. I just think that I should be allowed to express my opinion and be respected just as I do with her. Is what she’s doing sensible? Thanks
27 comments
I feel like there’s some context we’re likely missing here. I mean your statement for a rational person should not seem like anything to get that upset about. Sex is important in relationships (to the vast majority of people).
If all you did really was state that you believe sex is important and she has this much of a reaction, its likely because your views on sex don’t align. Might be something to consider in the future.
Has it occurred to you that the two of you are not compatible?
Break up.
You have not provided nearly enough context to answer your question. How did the topic come up, what exactly did you say, and what are the “different needs” you mention?
You are not wrong in wanting sex from a relationship, it is an important component to a relationship (IMO) . However, it sounds like it isn’t for your GF which means you two are just not compatible.
She sounds kinda ridiculous not gonna lie, sex is one of the most common reasons people break up due to incompatibility, it is extremely important to the success of a relationship.
I would move onto somebody else who isn’t a nutjob.
Why are you dating someone who doesn’t want to have sex with you?
[edited to add]
Damn, you’ve been dating for a year without sex and she’s told you she doesn’t want to have sex with you.
What is it going to take for you to leave?
Choose better in your next relationship.
Sex isn’t important to everyone. You two are on different wavelengths on this and don’t resonate. You two can’t make a good couple because of this. You should try to find someone who shares what you think is important in life.
I feel like there is a LOT of information you’re leaving out of this post. Her statement makes no sense with the context you’ve provided.
Your in your mid twenties dating a year and haven’t had sex, if it’s important to you and not to her then your not compatible and it’s silly to keep the relationship going. If she won’t end it it’s better that you do
She wants you to respect her values but refuses to respect yours.
Not a good place to move forward in a relationship.
If she’s saying sex isn’t an important factor in relationships she could be asexual and not realize it, or she could have some unhealthy ideals about sex(Is she sex repulsed or indifferent?).
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Either way you two would be incompatible. You’re not wrong for wanting sex. You just gotta find someone who is on the same level as you.
A modern feminist , ughhh , unless shes a virgin she doesnt have any right to judge you , and you are not forced to stay in that relationship, please dump her and move on.
You guys are not sexually compatible. I would move on and let both of you find your type
You’re incompatible. Find a partner who enjoys sex with you.
Break up it’s not rocket science. You are not a criminal for wanting sex, she is allowed to not want sex and the solution is to find another partner who is compatible with your needs
Have you tried telling her that you need physical and emotional intimacy with her? You need to be touched and touch her in return. Tell her you need closeness and need to feel loved. Want to reciprocate.
How often do you have date night or spend time together? Do you exercise together? If not, start doing so.
Break up now before it gets worse. Sexual incompatibility is a good reason to break up.
It will only get worse.
It sounds like you two are fundamentally incompatible. Whatever her reasons are, she doesn’t want to have sex, and you do want to have sex, and both of those goals are okay on their own, but they’re incompatible. So there’s not much to do but go your separate ways.
End the relationship you guys are not compatible
Stick with her and you’ll live in resent.
Further, it’s not healthy to have a reaction like that. She is judging you for being human. If she doesn’t want it or she is asexual or something, she can openly communicate it like an adult. Her response is childish.
You’ve been with this woman for a year. A full year. And she says this?
Is this relationship that you wished for? The one you imagined to be in?
Where your girlfriend doesn’t want to have sex with you and makes you feel like a creep for saying you think it’s important for couples, which has resulted in her using the manipulative cold shoulder for expressing your thoughts, framing you as the bad guy. Who just wants to be with his girlfriend.
I’ll probably be downvoted for saying this, but intimacy and sex is extremely important in a relationship. It’s a way to connect with your partner on a deeper level.
You get ONE life.
Find someone who wants the same things you do.
Who wants to be intimate with you.
Who won’t make you feel like a creep.
Someone who actually likes you…for you.
Run. Run. Run…
Don’t waste your time with this woman.
You are completely incompatible.
Wanting sex, intimacy is a normal human desire.
There are women who think that not wanting sex is a virtue. No it is not.
You are too young to waste your best years on a woman with no libido.
If you think sex is an important part of a relationship and she doesn’t, you should not be dating.
When a woman loses interest in sex the relationship is over.
If it’s unimportant than have sex with someone else. I have a feeling it would become very important to her then.
Take it from someone married for 20 years. Sex definitely matters – especially being on the same wavelength, sexually. If you’re not there at these beginning stages of your relationship, it’s only going to get harder (well 👀).
Don’t commit yourself to a lifetime of frustration.