For context I (28M) don’t have a strong social media usage. To the point where I can comfortably say I don’t have social media (aside of reddit) I don’t have SnapChat, only use Facebook for marketplace, don’t have TikTok, and hardly use Instagram. Reddit is the only one I use frequently/daily.
The past few relationships I’ve had said its a problem that I dont have those. Their main argument point is “I want us to take photos and post them on our social media’s so everybody knows we are in a relationship” and other statements very similar.
Those relationship also say that it feels like I’m “hiding” the relationship because I don’t post about them/us, tag them, or post photos together.
I dont like to make those posts because I only use what I have left of my social media for my own personal usage. Like Facebook for marketplace and IG to personal achievements, accomplishments, memories of my personal life, traveling, and reddit to socialize.
It feels like when in a relationship my social media is no longer “allowed” to be personal and it “HAS” be about us or the relationship. That comes with a near list of demands as well.
•Can’t have girls liking my post or making comments.
•have to have a profile picture of “us”
•have to say “in a relationship with _____ ”
•have to tag them in posts.
•obligatory “appreciation post”
•phone lock and home screen needs to be a picture of them
Just shit that “proves” to everybody I’m in a relationship with them.
It seems to also be a focal point of most arguments in the relationships, and I’m tired of it. I’ve tried multiple times to explain that my social is for me and I don’t use it to make my romantic life public, I don’t even like making my health, finances, or emotional status “public” so everybody can see.
Is it just the women in particular I see just like that, or is there some sort of relationship validation that requires social media presence something I didn’t know about? Or am I being selfish in just trying to enjoy and persevere my privacy.
Because at this point I’m about to just say screw it and 100% get off everything, delete it all, and save my photos in my Google drive and just use reddit.
5 comments
People are addicted to attention
I played Cyberpunk 2077 then i go hey lets see the real world….OMG its the same. Realy that sounds for me like a dystopain technodictatorship thing or whatever. Im soooo glad that im old and had a love life before all this stuff. I mean i have reddit sure but anonym and no social media because i see how bad it is for people. I dont hate it per se but it seems its so bad for people and is ruining so many things…..Sorry mate i guess we all live now in a cyber dystopian society…..
I don’t ever post personal things on Facebook or Instagram. Hell, my profile picture isn’t even me. On Facebook, it’s my favorite hockey player, and Instagram is a picture of my cat. My last relationship was never mentioned online, not a comment, post, or picture. It’s not because I have anything to hide. It’s because I like to keep my life private. Those people who are important to me knew about my relationship, and that’s all that mattered. I don’t understand why people post everything about their lives on social media.
That’s not the norm.
You just ran into insecure nutballs.
Laugh and wish them the best as you walk out
I refuse to use social media and if a girl I’m dating posts pictures of me or ‘us’ without permission we’ve got an issue (has happened a few times)
You’re allowed to have boundaries too