I (25F) have a friend (+-40M) who is super kind, but sometimes I don’t understand him. He is my first friend when I moved in this new place (I live alone in a new city), and he has been super kind to me, so I don’t want to be in cold water with him.

There is a cultural event in this place, where everything will shut down and you cant leave your house for 24 hours. I found out too late that they will also turn off mobile data connection (which I also rely on). I texted my friend, “oh nooo why didn’t you tell mee” —> maybe je translated this as guilt tripping when I was just panicked and overreacting. He said it’s my fault for not reading about upcoming cultural event in the place where I live (it is my fault).

Next thing I also ask him what’s his and his wife’s plan for the upcoming cultural holiday. He said he had told me ages ago, and told me to scroll up. I scrolled up but just couldn’t find it. Then I joked and said, “why do you make life so difficult” (as in “you couldve just tell me again what’s the plan”)

Then he said I make his life difficult because I keep asking questions that I don’t bother to remember.

Sometimes I message him asking trivial things just because I’d like to talk with someone. He always replied and didn’t complain, so I wasn’t aware that it annoyed him so much.

So I said sorry and I won’t do that anymore.

He said I was pulling cheap immature trick and it’s just better if I don’t contact him anymore.

I really didnt understand why he said that. So i said I just wanted to apologize and that I feel hurt because he accussed me for pulling psycho tricks when im just apoligizing.

And then he said i wrote too much without admitting that i was guilt tripping him, and it made him super angry.

I just dont understand. Guilt tripping is when you manipulate someone to feel guilty so they will do something for you, right?

I just don’t understand because I never intended to guilt trip or do any tricks, and I don’t understand why he is super mad.

But most importantly, I don’t know how to fix this.
How do I fix this situation so we can be friends again?

4 comments
  1. 25 female constantly contacting a 40 year MARRIED man with trivial matters is not a good look.

    He has a life and yet you treat him as he was a teenage friend.

    In the end it does not matter as he stated no more contact.

  2. Honestly he sounds like an asshole. But if you want to stay in touch with him I would just apologize, say you didn’t realize you were doing it, and ask how you can improve in the future.

  3. Cut ties. As someone said, it’s not really appropriate for a 20-something to be contacting a married man. And it seems like you two have totally different communication styles, and a lot is getting lost via text message.

  4. Yeaaahhhhhh. You just need to stop contacting this person. You being a little needy

Leave a Reply
You May Also Like