So let me start off by saying I have a good job and make decent money on my own. I’m financially independent and stable. I have my own apartment that I fully pay rent for by myself and have a fully paid off car I own. I work extremely hard for my paycheck though, my job is in healthcare and it’s stressful. I went through a lot of schooling to be successful and I don’t have any debt. By bf on the other hand is unemployed, doesn’t have health insurance, didn’t go to college, lives rent free between my place and his brothers house, and scrapes by though illegal activity and side jobs. And he just got out of seven months in jail. We’ve only been together for 1.5 years.
He eats my food, I pay whenever we go out to dinner, I took him on an expensive vacation to NYC last year and paid for everything out of the goodness of my heart. I fully supported him when he was locked up by paying his car bills and putting money on his account so he could buy commissary. We both agreed he would pay me back for the car payments.
Anyway he had to get some teeth pulled when he got out of jail cuz he had a cavity. He doesn’t have health insurance so he couldn’t afford it so he asked me to pay. It was hundreds of dollars on top of what he already owed me for paying his car payments. So I said no. I figured he could get a job and save up and pay for it himself so he wouldn’t owe me even more money. Well he threw an absolute fit and blocked me and packed his things and moved out. He guilt tripped me by talking about how painful his teeth were and said this is what partners are supposed to do for each other. He called me a selfish b**** and told me to kill myself and said his ex would’ve done this for him. I reminded him of everything I’ve already done for him and I didnt want him to have to owe me more money. Plus he’s never done anything for me and he said thats because I’ve never needed him cuz I’m financially secure but if I ever needed him to he would do the same for me. I caved in and gave him the money.
Was I being stingy and selfish and heartless by saying no originally even though it was for surgery for his teeth, or is he taking advantage of me? I wouldn’t have hesitated so much if I hadn’t done so much for him already financially with nothing in return.
I’m kinda old fashioned in that I think that the man should provide for the women or at least split everything equally but I am the one providing for him.
He has even suggested that I start an onlyfans that he will promote and take pics of me for and we would split the profit 50/50 so he can make extra money to pay me back. That’s seems unfair though since it’s my body and I’d be doing most of the work being the model yet he wants to split the profit equally.
TL;DR is my bf using me financially because he is unemployed because he just got out of jail and asks me to pay for everything and borrows money from me often while promising to pay me back but so far hasn’t? Should I break up with him over this?
6 comments
I was gonna suggest that you encourage him to either go to school or get a job, but then I read on . . . He’s a jerk and he treats you like shit, so yeah, you should break up with him. He’s ungrateful, manipulative and selfish.
Guurrll…this man is using you and you should break up with him. If there was any hope it would be if he was trying to better himself and move forward, but he’s not doing that. Any further hope you might have should have flown right out of the window once he called you a selfish b**** and told you to kill yourself.
Trust your gut which is telling you things aren’t right and DTMFA.
I don’t even need to read all of this to tell you to kick the fucking loser out of your life. He will drain your money and your life.
Girl, this man is a loser. No job, went to jail, cussed you out because you drew a boundary. This man will drag you down with him. Please leave him.
Edit: okay I just saw your last post. PLEASE LEAVE HIM. This man is absolutely not worth your physical safety and is not worth being manipulated into getting an abortion! You can start over. Dating may not be easy but hand to god, being single would still be better than dating this guy.
That said, he honestly sounds dangerous from your last post so you need to ensure that he doesn’t have access to your account information, passwords, etc. have a plan to change your locks immediately, and maybe even plan to stay with a friend for a few days post break up. Don’t tell him where you are. Block him on all fronts. He’s already been arrested for assault and has been physically aggressive with you. It’s only a matter of time before it gets worse. Please leave him.
Dump this lazy ass asap else he will drain your finances.
Makes money by illegal activity and is abusive – stopped reading there. Dump him. Don’t get dragged down by this guy.