How?

3 comments

1. Do you usually start conversations with male friends? You could practice with one of them, since it’s lower stakes. In my opinion there is no difference between asking out a girl and asking out a boy – you are just asking, in a normal way, whether they would like to do X activity with you. Do you know what activity you are inviting her to do?

2. You need practice. Try talking to 3 strangers a day. It will get easier after awhile.

3. Stop putting women on a pedestal. They are humans too. Talking to women is a special case of talking to people in general. Stop seeking their attention, validation, approval, or reassurance. Instead, Genuinely connect with them in real life e.g. ask how they are, their hobbies, interests goals, opinions, etc. Listen and pay attention to what they say. Share those things about yourself when asked. People also subconsciously attach you to the value you bring. The value you bring is a clear, unique, and convincing reason why people will interact with you, let alone do so constantly. So Find ways to add value to their lives. Having In person interactions is the easiest way to stand out from countless people who text or message. People remember and favor in person interactions because of the positive vibes. If your hobbies, skills, talents align with their interests or can help them, bring it up and offer to help them. Finally, learn how to be genuinely busy in your life pursuing your goals and hobbies, while interacting with people on the side. People are hardwired to be repulsed by neediness and desperation and instead gravitate towards those who are self confident and well rounded in life. They want to see active confirmation of you actually doing something in your life other than just talking to them. So chase excellence, not people.