Title sums it up! More specifically, though..
I broke it off with an ex a while back as we just weren’t compatible. He had anger issues, a slew of mental and family problems, and was genuinely just not in a good place to be in any sort of relationship.
We dated for less than a year. I broke it off after realizing the anxiety I got from our relationship, but also because I had met my (now) fiancé at the time and immediately hit it off as friends.
I have a personal history with relationships that have been unhealthy (haven’t we all?). I also have enough experience with men who stuck around for too long after the breakup in hopes that they could harass or guilt-trip me into coming back. It’s given me an awfully unhealthy panic response to these situations that’s embarrassing enough on it’s own.
I moved away from my home state 2 years ago, and I haven’t seen or spoken to any old friends (or this ex) since. But I got a random call tonight from an old, good friend saying that my ex had come into their place of work this evening and ask to speak to them. He asked how I was doing, what I was up to, and whether or not they knew how to get ahold of me.
My old friend was smart enough to not feed into any of it and was extremely minimal in their responses to my ex. They called me immediately after the conversation to let me know that it had happened, and mentioned that several other of my old friends have had similar experiences.
The anxiety I feel from the whole situation has been eating at me all evening. It’s unnerving for me to know that someone I haven’t seen or spoken to in ages is attempting to keep tabs on me and contact me. He’s been blocked on any and every possible platform since the breakup two years ago.
I know that my fiancé will want to talk to him if I tell him about it, but I feel more comfortable just continuing on with life as we have been and just ignoring it as a whole. I HATE the idea of opening up contact with someone from my past that I dropped for a reason.
I would really love advice as to whether or not this is something that would be productive to let my fiancé know about.. I know the obvious answer is yes, but I just hate that it feels like our peace is being disturbed right now from someone who’s otherwise irrelevant to my current journey 🙁
1 comment
I’m sorry but why would your fiancé feel the need to speak to your ex?? Idk this whole situation would give me the creeps too. Any person that goes to the workplaces of their ex partner’s friends ESPECIALLY after two years seems off their rocker. I would agree with you about feeling very wary of opening the door of communication with ex because your partner wanted to what… scare him off? This ex seems determined to find you for whatever reason. Personally, I would be so freaked out that I would probably tell my boss to be extra sure to not share any details about me and let me know asap if anyone ever comes looking for or calling about me.
Tbh I would tell your fiancé. Maybe even show him this post and have him talk to your old friend who warned you. But the understanding needs to be that he will not attempt to communicate your ex. It could put you both in a lot of danger. Be sure to share any further info that gets passed along from people in your hometown and of course, share with him if your ex ever did manage to get in touch.
I hope it works out. Stay safe.