How can you stop thinking about your ex who cheated on you and caused you pain?

24 comments

1. The best way to get over someone is to get under someone

2. You have to stay occupied, do things that you like to do – try to take your mind off of it. It’ll hurt for a bit, but it fades with time. In the end, just realize she did you a favor by showing you her true colors sooner rather than later (it was that way in my case at least).

3. In the same place right now. Day to day is hard

4. Wanna know what helped me? Therapy. Talking to a professional listener allowed me organize my thoughts in a productive manner, allowed me to think clear and heal myself. With healing, comes personal rebirth and knowing one’s self worth.

   Best of luck. It gets better.

5. Think of her sister.

6. Its still a battle for me. She still randomly pops up in my head but I do my best to forget about her at that moment. Spending a few years together, of course thinking about them will happen from time to time.

   I’ve been doing my best to keep myself occupied, did have a slip up when I saw a guy who looks similar to the guy she left me for but fixed my mood quickly. Been hanging out with friends, drinking a bit and gaming so any distractions can help.

7. The best way to see it is that its no big loss. If they were willing to do that to you, they didn’t care about you or respect you as much as a partner should. It’s gonna hurt like fuck when the wound is fresh, but in time you’ll find someone who treats you with the respect you deserve.

8. Here’s how I did it:
   1. Delete all contacts. I didn’t even ask her for the promise ring I got her back.
   2. Focus on you, and you alone.
   3. Stop trying to get with someone. The right one will come along in time.

   Mine did me dirty dirty. Cheated on me with a dude who was in/out of jail. She would never tell him she was in a relationship because she didn’t wanna hurt him while he was inside. She would never let me hang out with her if he was out. Initially, I was okay with it.

   But then I thought about it. Thought hard. Then I said “I’m your boyfriend. I don’t care about him. Plus, isn’t it unfair for him to get out and find out you had me. Oh.”

   I asked how he didn’t know she was with someone if she wore her ring everywhere she went. Then she broke down and started crying and admitted she took it off when she went to visit him.

   I left right then and that was that. She later texted a year later and apologized, which I appreciated but still.

   It hurts. It will still hurt. But eventually it’ll fade and you’ll move on.

9. Watch a lot of anime and cartoons and tv shows.

10. Take it as a loss and find someone better. Onwards and upwards.

11. I get frustrated with myself for how much anger I still have. Some days are better than others and things slowly improve with time.

    Intoxicants obviously aren’t the answer. And honestly, using someone else for sex just to try to help take your mind off things really isn’t fair to that person…they have feelings too and there is potential for drama that can just as easily be avoided. I recommend against it.

    They (whoever they are) say the best revenge is a life well lived. That’s what I am trying to do, and by doing so am working myself towards a better place than I pretty much have ever been in before. So that’s a plus!

    Hang in there – stay positive and better things will come to you!

12. My ex cheated on me with her cousin, fuck that bitch I’m better off. If I ever think about her, even the good memories will get drowned out with hat she did. I simply just moved on, sorry if this wasn’t helpful.

13. Live your best life and let time pass and it will heal.

14. Man to man, all I can give you is honesty. I don’t know you, or her, or the details, I can only give my experience.

    Man to man, I’m sorry, there really is nothing that captures the abyss we feel when our trust in someone we love is betrayed.

    You don’t deserve her. She doesn’t deserve you. No one owes you love, you don’t owe her or anyone love. No one deserves anyone or anything.

    All you have in the world, is what’s on your mind, the words you speak, and the actions you take with your hands. What she, or anyone else does, is unfortunately not up to you, and no matter how you feel, you can’t make them do anything.

    You loved. You trusted. She broke that trust.

    You aren’t any less of a man because someone you chose to love did something awful. Her actions are her own. Don’t blame yourself, and don’t think less of yourself. It takes a lot to be vulnerable, to be open, and that strength alone makes you a man. It’s her conscience that is damned, not yours, for being responsible.

    An ex I was planning on marrying, having kids with, was a prostitute before we got together. I broke down and cried for a year after I found out she didn’t quit.

    A relationship is a two-way agreement. I loved her, I was kind to her, I made her laugh and smile, and I cared for her when she cried. I did my part.

    Its painful, god does it hurt to want it to work, to try to compensate, pick up their half of the agreement to keep it floating. She didn’t do hers.

    Can I be blamed for loving? Trusting? Showing weakness? What’s the point of love, if you can’t show your wounds to the one person you bare your soul to? Can I be blamed for putting my faith in her? Should I have spent hours, days, weeks, paranoid, seeing shadows in corners, blaming her for things she may or may not have done?

    Maybe I would’ve been right. Maybe my own actions would have pushed her away.

    Does it matter? We can spend our who lives thinking about what could have been, should have been, done different. The time you spend looking back, is time you lose going forward.

    To love, is to let your guard down. To love, is to be vulnerable. To love, is to accept you just might get hurt.

    She’s gone. She’s never coming back. If she does, run the fuck away.

    Love yourself, treat yourself with respect.

    Be the kind of man someone would want to love. Be the man you would love.

15. Ive done it all but she still haunts my dreams

16. Time, you can put a bullet in between her eyes but you’ll just be thinking of her still. Fuck her (not in a literal sense). She’s a ghost walking. Don’t see her, don’t hear her, don’t acknowledge her life or presence.

17. Time heals all wounds. Take things day by day at first. Focus on what is in front of you. What is for breakfast, how should I dress due to weather, what am I doing till lunch, what is for lunch, etc. Soon it will be week by week, then month by month. And then boom! You barely think about it.

18. Play the new Harry Potter game, super fun.

19. Keep thinking of the shit things she did, force yourself to not remember the good times. Let the hatred flow

20. What worked for me was figuring out why I kept on thinking about the ex despite her actions.

    For me, it was because her actions confirmed for me that I am unworthy of someone good. The root problem was how I felt about myself.

    I improved my self worth by working towards becoming the person I want to be. Got into shape, got a better job, built good relationships, found hobbies, treated myself better etc.

    TLDR – improving my self esteem helped me forget about my cheating ex

21. Go through the pain and suck it up. Delete all pictures. Block her contact. Remove her from your social media. Your goal is to move on. It’s over and that’s for the better. There’s a ton of women out there that are better than her and you get to try them out. Focus on yourself, go to the gym and work on your career/business. Stay strong and remember this is for the better.

22. Force the thought of of your head. When I realize I’m having an intrusive thought I make myself think of a Muppet fire team blasting it out of my head with the fire hose. The more you practice the better your response time will be.

23. I don’t know if you ever stop thinking about them. But. Only time heals the hurt.it usually goes like this. First it hurts because you just miss them. Then it hurts because of the betrayal. Then one day you realize your not thinking about them nearly as much as you used to and that hurts. After that thier memory is as important to you as a high school friend you don’t talk to anymore. They’ll pop up in your thoughts and you think whatever dude. And think about something else.

24. Groom yourself well go out and ask a stranger about how their going about their lives in person and really listen to them. You’ll come to understand how wholesome of an experience it could be whenever you become the person you needed for someone else.