I’ve had this insecurity for most of my life. I started dating my now wife at the age of 16. We lost our virginity to each other within the first year of dating. Starting in my 20’s it started to bother me that I’ve only had one sexual partner. Unfortunately early in our relationship we split for a little while. During that time she ended up having a few ONS and I even think a very brief period of having a FWB. Either way I’ve never had that against her since we were not together at the time but I have always felt jealous of her that she got to experience that and I did not. I’m 33 now and she is still my only sexual partner and still it bothers me. I’ve never considered myself attractive and this kind of just emphasizes that thought in my mind. Just to be clear I’m not thinking about cheating. My wife is a wonderful person who does not deserve that. This is just a rant I guess.
12 comments
No, neither of us are our only sexual partner. She’s hands down my best sexual partner though.
We were not virgins, but did wait till we were married. We don’t discuss our past, except for the fact I had child, that my husband adopted. I don’t think either of us are proud of that part of our past
I have been married to my wife for 25 years. she is my the only sexual and romantic partner. I never kissed or even held had of another woman. she is the love of my life and we have great marriage and great sexual connections.
My wife had one BF before me and few casual sexual relationships before me. My whole life I have these very complicated thoughts and feelings that I cannot make sense of. I regret that I missed this sexual exploration and fun when I was young before I met my wife. I am jealous a bit of her past. At the same time I am happy for her that she had this experience and does not have same regrets I have. I love my wife and will never cheat.
No I slept with over 15 people before him. Some were long term, some were only a couple times. He had around the same. Not really missing much and if I had to choose between him and all those other experiences it would be him hands down. They’re in the past, they don’t matter anymore, they feel like nothing more than a distant memory, like a nice thanksgiving or a walk in the park on a sunny day lol. It’s like if I said “I wish I had tried that pie more 8 years ago” why the heck would it matter to me now?
I feel like the only actual thrill I have from any of that which has lasted is more about ego. Like occasionally I’ll remember and be like yeah I fucked that hot dude 10 years ago; so that’s cool. And the forget one minute later.
Not a virgin when we met, but best sex of my life came after marriage.
Husband and I are in our 30s, started dating as teens, and were virgins when we met. I’d given BJs to a few guys but aside from that we were each other’s first. We’ve talked about how we both have fleeting thoughts about what touching another person’s body would feel like, like “oh, what would it be like to have sex with someone who has a six pack” kind of thing. But neither of us has any desire or feeling of missing out from not having it.
I started dating my husband at 16. We are each other’s only sexual partners. We have been together for 13 years, married for 4. Every few years we go through a phase of trying new things. We even seriously talked about a threesome but ultimately decided against it. There is nothing wrong with not having a lot of sexual partners. The important things is are you having good sex now?
I’m 33 also. My wife and I began dating when we were 20. She’s been the only woman I’ve ever slept with. She had a boyfriend prior to me that she was intimate with.
Neither virgins but neither had large number. By far the best and longest partner is my spouse. Far from the grass being greener the idea of negotiating the scene now is a dreadful idea.
We are open about trying things and when we have the occasional disaster it’s always something to laugh at.
Just curious, what do you THINK you’re missing?
Met when we were 17 together 20 years married 16 (man that makes me feel ancient). Anyway, both of us are each other’s firsts in everything. We keep it interesting and he somehow keeps getting better. I don’t feel like I am missing out on anything but my mind does wander from time to time but I have no desire to actually try anything else. I would say it is more curiosity than anything.
My wife is the only sexual partner I’ve had. I’m not the only sexual partner she’s had. Doesn’t bother me. It rarely ever crossed my mind until I get on Reddit and respond to one of these posts.
I met my husband at 16, got married at 21, now 11 years married. He has been my only sexual partner. My husband did have others in his past. I’m satisfied with our sexual relationship. Therefore I don’t feel the need to go out there. Could I find better sex out there? Sure! But I love my husband and he always pleases me sexually so I don’t have the need. To be honest I am super relieved that I don’t have date anymore. In the sense when ever I want to have sex I just have to say “ you want to do it ? “ and I get instant pleasure. Since my husband is the only thing I know, I can’t compare him to anything, and I am happy with that, as long as we are pleasuring each other and enjoy our sexual relationship right now, that’s what matters to me.