What are some signs of someone using you for your money?

15 comments

1. Don’t give them anything, only spend money on stuff you do together, after a while ask them what they like about you. Of they only have vague answers they are trying to use you

   if the word love comes up before the first or second date, they are setting up emotional blackmail

   If they call you any variant of baby before meeting you they are a prostitute

2. She screamed at me because I turned down overtime to hangout with her.

3. In this day and age, if she’s not offering to split the bill or pay by like the third or fourth date, she is absolutely using you for the money or free stuff. They’ll say they’re just “traditional” but that’s a pretty poor excuse when they’re also working and have money.

   “Whoever asked the other person out should pay” is really only applicable on the first few dates. After that, there should be mutual desire for more dates or she’s just looking at it as free meals/entertainment.

4. Anyone who suggests activities but doesn’t offer to pay, or anyone who wouldn’t meet you unless you go someplace expensive is using you for money.

   Could also include those who don’t offer to split the bill on dates or those who expect expensive gifts but never give you anything in return.

5. Your boy had 5 months to figure it out and he didn’t? I feel no sympathy for that one

6. The typical signs are:

   * they possess a borderline and/or sociopathic personality and will “lovebomb” you, telling you everything you want to hear
   * they have several drug addictions they need to maintain on a daily basis (eg, meth, cocaine, heroin, ketamine etc)
   * they have a bad credit history
   * they have engaged in sex work in the past or currently still doing sex work
   * they have multiple social media accounts in which they try to make money off of selling their naked photos or videos
   * they use dating sites to try to garner more “clients” who pay for them
   * they tend to want to buy only luxury, status symbol items and expect you to buy them for her
   * they’re inappropriately flirtatious with every man they meet, even in front of you
   * they’ll try to date your family members or close friends if they’re of similar or greater wealth as you are
   * they use sex in order to get you “addicted” to them whilst you pay for their drugs, loan them money, or other expenses they need

7. The sad reality of dating is that you’ll be used for your money. Not always, but often. My advice is that you do not spend anything on someone you haven’t slept with yet. That includes dates, trips or activities that you do together.

   I once dated a girl who made it very clear that we’ll split the bill till we start fucking, once we start having sex she can let me pay for her(not always, just sometimes).

   I also had an FWB who’d invite me over, conveniently run out of groceries before I come, take me shopping before we got to her place, and expected me to pay for her groceries. Basically I paid for sex with groceries but I didn’t mind that. Now if we weren’t having sex then things would’ve been different.

   Tldr: unless you’re sharing a bed, do not pay for her share of the bill.

8. If she’s sticking up her nose at any date activity that isn’t dinner at a fancy restaurant, especially in the early stages of dating.

   If she doesn’t offer to pay for anything at all by a few dates in

   She asks how much money you make early on

   She always has an excuse for why she can’t pay

   She always asks you for money to help with something (i.e bills, car repair, groceries)

   She sticks up her nose at certain gifts

   She gets mad if you’re not spending a certain amount of money on her

   She becomes distance the second you bring up any sort of financial stress (i.e. large emergency expense, taking on debt, threat of losing your job)

9. When your help stops helping, it wasn’t help.

   I had a friend who I was helping out financially. He always told me “I’ll pay you back, I promise.” There was always an excuse. Aw man, I got a flat tire and it drained my account to nothing. Aw man it was so-n-so’s birthday and I had to get them something, I’m broke. Aw man, I was bored and bought this junk I don’t need instead of paying you back.

   I had enough and cut him off. He got pissed and found someone else to leech from

10. Your friend sounds like he’s not the sharpest knife in the drawer.

11. She picks a fight to get out of a conversation she doesn’t like, such as when you discuss how you’re going to split the cost of mutual expenses.

    I dated a woman who liked planning little weekend getaways. It was enjoyable enough but I always seemed to pay for more than my share. So the next time, I told her to make all the bookings and I would Venmo her my half. “Book anything you want, I’m sure it’ll be great,” I said. She picked a fight and cancelled.

    I watched in amazement as she did the exact same thing two more times. Then she broke up with me. I was only useful to her for my credit card.

12. Gatekeeping sex behind you spending money is a huge one he needs to be wary of, but also there is the more subtle constantly moving goalposts to keep the carrot out of reach.

    He should try cheaper dates, and refusing to be official/exclusive before sex.

13. I’m of the age where women are only interested in me for what I have and not who I am, which means I am not interested in them. My last visit to the dating pool was more like a series of job interviews then something that used to be fun. Being asked how much I earned, how much I had saved, what my retirement provision was like.

    So, in my case the answer to your question is ***they are interested in getting to know me…***

14. If you want to quickly weed out gold diggers, instead of going out somewhere expensive, volunteer with the poor as a date and then donate the money you would have spent. That will weed out the ones using you for money pretty quickly.

15. If they are not good with their own money, they won’t be good with yours (even if they have good intentions)