My girlfriend wants a threesome. I think.

10 comments

1. “she says she thinks it would be hot if me and another guy fuck her together.” and you only THINK she wants a threesome????

2. First of all, do it because you want to not because she does. And no, it’s nothing like using dildos.

3. If you move forward with it, you need to se boundaries as a couple and with the other guy, interview the right guy for the 3some, make sure he can provide a recent proof of sti tests as clean. Do not have the guy be anyone you personally know that can cause problems.

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5. Has she already chosen the ‘other guy’ she wants to include?

6. The fantasy of watching her have sex with another guy is absolutely different from actually watching another guy rail her.

   The problem is that it’s really hard to test the waters and dip your toes in, or predict how you will react until it is actually happening. Unless you find an experienced third that will pause after every new milestone (touch her then stop, kiss her then stop, get her naked then stop, etc, etc), things can very quickly go from “this is hot that she’s flirting with him” to “Wait a minute, she doesn’t make those noises with me, why is shy enjoying this so much?!”

   As someone that has been in a lot of MFMs as both male roles, I absolutely love them and think they’re a crazy hot experience. However, they definitely aren’t for everyone.

   Non-monogamy can enhance a great relationship, but tends to destroy all others.

   Should you do it? Personally, I’m heavily biased towards saying yes, because I love them and think more people should try them. First though, you need to have a very serious conversation with her to make sure that it isn’t just a passive fantasy of hers.

   Make it clear from the beginning that you aren’t upset by the interest, and do NOT use this as a way to pressure her into a FFM/FMF. You are completely within your right to bring up that kind of threesome if it interests you, but don’t make it transactional.

7. Sure, if you want to throw 5 years of commitment down the chute, go for it.

   Once you do it, there’s no comeback. The entire relationship will go downhill from then on.

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9. 1) Some people think guys get mad that a woman dares to enjoy herself during a threesome. And think the guy is some monster expecting her to hate it the whole time. That’s not really what’s happening. It’s when she gets so in the moment that she doesn’t check in with you, and it feels like she doesn’t care if she hurts your feelings. You probably want her to check in with you and do things you both will enjoy.

   Some people may find that to be unreasonable that she can’t just enjoy the moment and has to always think about her partner. It’s not though. Dom’s in BDSM have to always think about their partner. The person penetrating has to always thing about their partner so they don’t hurt her. And in a threesome, the woman who will be the centre of attention between two straight guys has to always think about her partner because she is the one that will be able to more easily hurt his feelings.

   That being said, she is going to want to do things she finds hot during this threesome. She’s going to like it, she suggested it for a reason. So talk before hand about things like if she enjoys the idea of performing for you during some of that threesome, and if you like the idea of her looking at him with lust.

   2) Has she had vaginal orgasms before? What’s your plan if her first vaginal orgasm is on his dick? What if she asks for him to do it again?

   Are you gonna feel like she likes him more than you? Like she didn’t even think you were capable of making you feel as good as him?
   There’s nothing wrong with asking the other guy to make her cum because everyone is having fun. But you don’t want to feel like she’s asking the other guy to make her cum because she likes him more than you. Building up that kind of trust is difficult.

   Talk with her about these kind of things. What’s gonna make you not feel like second best?

   3) More generally, no one wants to feel like a third wheel.

   You don’t want her to make you feel like if you have a problem and needs things to slow down that you’re just ruining her good time.

   You also don’t want her to act like your not even there.

   So what’s gonna make you feel involved? Do you need to feel involved for everything? Does she find that reasonable?

   4) It’s not uncommon that guys see how much she’s enjoying it and feel jealous that she’s been disinterested in sex with him the last 3 months. It’s gonna hurt if you are having intimacy problems and she’s not making you feel wanted, but makes him feel wanted.

   5) You might have a problem and need to stop or leave the room. Some women make the mistake of staying in the room with the other guy, or even continuing without her bf. Your relationship comes first, hopefully she cares more about making sure you’re okay, than getting her rocks off.

   6) Just because you said yes doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to be hurt if your realize that this wasn’t what you wanted. A woman might have a CNC fantasy and not realize that she goes nonverbal while in subspace and can’t safeword. That doesn’t make her trauma any less real.

   Same principal here. While it might not be her fault if you get hurt, you still want her support.

   7) Never forget aftercare. Chasing “new person energy” might be fun, but after the fact you want to feel like your relationship with her is the one she values most. Not the other guy. So you probably want to spend time together.

   8) Since she wants it more than you most of my points have been how to make sure you don’t get hurt. But it’s worth mentioning that in an MFM do not make her feel like you’re pimping her out. Performing for your SO? Fun. Feeling like you’re only there for his pleasure? Not fun. Feeling like you’re not allowed to enjoy it? Not fun.

   9) Consider roleplaying a 3some while using dildos on her. Doing that might make you more prepared for what you’d see then.

10. That another guy.. should not be your friend