What is appearing as a people pleaser but you’re not mean?

I’m trying to become more self aware and working on my social and communication skills.
I noticed I come off as a people pleaser because I treat people how I want to be treated, with respect, kindness etc. This leads people to take advantage of me, become toxic, push boundaries, think I am a dumb, naive target.

But when I drop being extremely polite and kind and just become and look serious/neutral, I appear respectful yet confident…they become absolutely terrified and intimidated. They would have been less terrified if they didn’t see me being super kind and polite to them in the first place though.

Why is this? And what is it called that I am doing? Am I still a people pleaser or something else? What do I need to work on?