Hey everyone,
I’m having some trouble at work and I’m hoping to get some advice from you all. Basically, my team is really social and they all talk to each other, but I feel like I’m being left out. The thing is, it’s not like they’re doing it on purpose – I’ve kind of excluded myself.
I’m a mix of introverted, shy, and socially anxious, so it’s been tough for me to really blend in with the team and make connections. Because of that, I haven’t been included in social conversations and stuff. It’s not their fault though – I just don’t know how to approach them.
I wanted to reach out to some psychology and social skills communities to see if anyone has any advice for me. I’m not really sure how to interact with my team because they think I’m not interested in talking to them, but I am! I just don’t really know how to do it.
Do you think it’s a big deal to have relationships with your coworkers, or is it not that important? I only work three days a week, but I want to make sure I’m getting the most out of my time there and feeling comfortable.
I’d really appreciate any advice or personal experiences you have to share. Thanks in advance!
1 comment
So it’s only a big deal if you want it to be a big deal. There are certainly professional benefits to social relationships with the office, but it sounds like you are working part time and that may not be 100% applicable to your situation.
Personally, I’ve been having a lot of the same issues. Not knowing my colleagues all that well and not having connections to the department as a whole. This is largely due to my office within the department being almost entirely work from home (required 1 day a month).
But also when there are department events, I’m like you – shy, socially anxious, and introvert. It doesn’t help that I don’t hear well and my conversations suffer from only catching 60% of what’s said.
My advice is to find ways to break the groups down. Try to talk to people individually or in small groups. My work today just had a volunteer day where myself and 8 other colleagues did some environmental work. It was something I made a conscious effort in to get to know people.
Not all work places has those events, so I would find something work related that you can work with someone on. I find it easier to talk to someone when doing something. If you can get to know one or two people, they can vouch for you for the rest of the group. They’ll remember to invite you places, etc (if that’s what you want).
You may never shake that feeling of being awkward or anxious in social settings but it’s okay to be quiet. Just learn your strengths and contribute when you can/feel like it and the rest will come. The biggest obstacle is going to be yourself.
Also an alternative way, just talk to someone saying you want to be more involved but don’t know how to approach the group. Be honest about you feeling shy and wanting to make connections.