My friend [32F] is comparing her life with mine [29F], but I am not sure if her intention is bad. For example we both were looking a new place with our partners. She was asking me what are we writing in our application mail, how much budget we have and then compare with herself. Or how much I am earning as a student and my income is more than what she earn when she was student.
Her understanding of motivation is: comparing my situation & life with hers. Whenever I talk about my problem she always says negative stuff, make the topic about herself and start talking about her and not letting me share my problem.
I sometimes need relationships advices, she is married with kids and thought she could give advices, but only thing she does just start talking sexist, talking about her husband in gossiping way. (She is so heteronormative & believes gender roles are biological)
I kind of feel like she is using me. Because whenever she wants to gossip about her sister (yeah exactly) and mother-in-law suddenly she has time to meet, but if I invite her or ask her if she has time, she says she doesn’t have time. (She is a housewife)
Like I mentioned before, whenever I talk about my problems, she comes with negative responses and if I feel negative she explodes like a bomb and says stuff like “You are throwing up blood”, “you re throwing up a grudge”. Says so many harsh words but when it comes to people who made fun of her wait, she is such a coward and can’t protect herself.
Her sister [23F] has OF. She was stalking her instagram where she advertise her OF account. Once she told me she wanted to watch her videos. “I was in shock and told her do not ever do that! That is disgusting! How are you gonna watch your sister’s corns? Don’t ever do that and traumatize yourself!” She said she doesn’t watch it but stalks her Instagram, incase they lose contact with her, then she has her insta account to contact. (I felt so uncomfortable and disgusted)
Sometimes when I need help, she is helping me too. Like unexpectedly kind, caring and helpful. Her this bipolar behaviors started to exhausting me.
I spent my weeks reading and listening about Narcissistic friendships. Her all behaviors fits vulnerable/covert narcissists. Like shockingly every single thing fits her. The way she treated me or how victim she is. She is the most victim on earth and had the most difficult life than anyone else.
TLDR: Can someone pls tell me what kind of friend I have? I am planning to cut the contact with her.
P.S.: I am not a native speaker. Sorry for my English.
2 comments
It’s important to surround yourself with people who lift you up and support you, not bring you down. You deserve better than this toxic friendship.
You don’t need permission or a reason to cut off a friend. If they don’t bring happiness and benefit to your life then they aren’t worth the time and effort. Drop the friendship and find someone you click with.