At my age i stilll haven’t had sex yet. I’m studying abroad this year and i’m in a school where most people are much younger than me. Because of the language barrier and other things, i haven’t had a lot of success getting with any of the guys here.
What i’m looking for is someone that might be open to going slow with me, hanging out a few times first to see the vibe etc before getting intimate. I’ve been on tinder too, and i seem to have the same problem all the time: i tend to match with people that only want hook ups (i’m not against it) and that are also a lot younger than me (for some reason those tend to be more my type). The issue that i’ve had with them is that they don’t want to go out first, they just want to have sex directly. To give an example, i’ve talked to 2 guys that were 20 and 19 (i know, very young and immature) and even tho we sexted before etc, they were not interested at all in seeing each other outside first. They wanted to come straight to my house. They literally told me “i don’t want to see you out” and for some reason it hurts to hear that and bothers me a lot.
I feel like at this rate i’m never going to get over this… it’s already happened to me once or twice in parties that someone i liked wanted to hook up with me and i couldn’t do it because of this. So now i’m starting to question myself, am i making this into a bigger deal than it is and i should just get it over with? I tell myself that i want to go slow, but in the end i’m not sure what would happen if i didn’t do that or how i would react because i’ve never been in that situation.
4 comments
If you do decide to compromise, that person probably won’t care for your pleasure or the fact that it’s your first time and will just focus on them. They don’t care to get to know yo ya bit, they won’t care about you in bed either imo.
You’ve waited for 24 years, wait until you find a guy that will be patient enough to take their time and at least make a connection with you before moving physically. It might take a little bit but I’m sure that there will be someone out there.
Maybe try looking outside of tinder or parties too. People aren’t really looking to get to know someone intimately there.
It sounds more to me like you are looking for something more like a relationship than a hook-up. Go in with this mind set and look in more appropriate places. You want to go in slow and hang out etc, you either want a reciprocal FWB or a relationship. I would not personally compromise.
Tinder is going to do your head in, I have found it to just be a hookup fest and not a lot more.
If it were me I would say absolutely. Sex is too good to be celibate unless you want to be. It’s an easy thing to build up bigger and bigger. I don’t think anyone here can tell you what’s best for you though. Good luck!
Depends on what is truly important to you. I (F25) barely lost mine to my boyfriend. We truly got to know each other for months before we got intimate. The reason why I gave in is because I felt truly comfortable and safe with him, and he truly cares about me and he took the time to establish a genuine friendship/relationship. I would have waited a bit more if I hadn’t experienced this.