tl;dr female friend made out with me while drunk several times and I had been already interested in her, but never thought she was interested in me that way. What should I do?

This one might be a little long, so apologies in advance.

I(31M) became close with my f(26)emale friend over the last 8 months or so since breaking up with an ex. I’m going to leave out many specific details that I want to share as they’re integral to the escalation of the story but can’t for reasons of identification.

This friend and I have gotten closer as time has gone on. We don’t talk everyday, but definitely a few days a week. We do send each other comical insta memes/tik toks to each other multiple times a day tho – often us teasing each other about situationships and things that are going on in our dating lives. We are both single and share basically all details of our single adventures. Over the last couple months, we’ve definitely gotten a lot closer and have been sharing further details with each other, like her telling me who she has and hasn’t had sex with, etc.

Well, we ended up making out a number of times this past St. Patricks day while we were drunk. Apparently she had kissed another friend of ours that night that we were trying to introduce her to a few times but she never seemed interested in him in the past. I wish I could share some details here because it’s integral to the story, but she essentially stole me away from someone else I was with for herself and she was the one to kiss me first. Anyways, she made me hold her hand/make out some more while I walked her home at the end of the night. When we got there, she laid down on the couch and was clearly ready to just pass out, so I tucked her in, called myself an uber, and left.

Next morning, I messaged her asking if we should just forget about this happening to which she agreed and cracked a couple jokes. Since then, we have basically not been communicating at all which is unusual.

Couple nights later I was thinking about what happened and the 6 months or so leading up to this. She had been asking me to hang out often, and we did. Even asking me to go to some random destinations with her which I didn’t take seriously, I figured she was just sparking conversation or something. Her staring at me all the time when we were out with friends. On the night in question before we made out, there was a number of things she did that made it glaringly obvious that she was interested in me that night, which I can’t share, but I hadn’t experienced this with her before.

Thing is, I have had a crush on her for a while, but just never told her. I couldn’t tell her before though for, again, reasons that I can’t share. I regret saying that we should forget about it because I do want to pursue her and see if she does, in fact, have feelings for me, but I also think it might just ruin our friendship entirely if I do this as this could have just been just some drunk incident that she regrets/cringes over.

I don’t know what to do here, reddit. I know it’s probably hard to judge as I did not give enough detail of our relationship, but does this girl like me or was this just a drunken St. Patricks day fling? Do I wait to see if this happens again? Do I talk to her about it?

4 comments
  1. I don’t think anyone here is going to be able to tell from this if she has a crush on you. She had her chance to bring it up when you asked to forget about the whole thing.

    There’s a good chance she was just having fun and you were a man she felt safe around, and she was right.

    If you want advice on how to proceed, I would send her something like “Hey, so I know we agreed to forget about St. Patrick’s day..but I’m having trouble with that. I’m having trouble getting the night out of my head, and just need input from you on if you feel like there’s anything between us? Give it to me truthfully. If there’s nothing there I need you to put my head on straight.”

  2. Communication is key. Talk to her and tell her how you feel. If she doesn’t feel the same way, then at least you’ll know where you stand and can move on.

  3. Dude, wake up! She is into you. Alcohol lowers your inhibitions, it does not Chand your thoughts or feels.

    If you like her ask her out!

  4. “My crush made out with me and I asked her if we should just pretend like it never happened (for some reason). Should I talk to her about it?”

    Yes.

Leave a Reply
You May Also Like