I (21M) am leaving my current job in a week and am considering letting my coworker (18F) know how I feel about her. Honestly, I’ve never felt so strongly about a girl and we have a lot of personality traits in common.
However, I am worried about the power dynamics. I am a shift leader (low level but still technically manager) there and she is in an entry level position. While I’m not really in charge of anything, she does sometimes come to me for help or instructions on what to do next etc.
Since my last day is coming up, I wanted to at least let her know how I feel since there won’t be any chance that she will feel obligated to answer one way (I’ll be gone the day after). Another issue is the 3 year age gap, I know 3 years in the mid 20s isn’t bad but three years at our ages might be questionable.
6 comments
As someone who is 21, I would STRONGLY advise you to not ask out an 18 year old. That is not going to come off well and is generally quite creepy. I recommend looking for someone who is at least 20.
So, asking he rout right before you bounce is the right move here.
The age gap is a bit more nuanced. It’s a question of life stages. Is she still living at home? Does she know how long she will be at this job? Any plans for the future? Any indications of her maturity level, is what I’m getting at. That’s what I would pay more attention to, rather than strictly worrying about her age. (Although toooooo young is problematic for other reasons.)
6 months from now, are you going to be more upset that you didn’t ask her or that you did ask her out?
I was with my x wife for 11 years, we worked together for two years before I left for another job. Don’t let people tell you “it’s not appropriate”.
Nope. She’s too young to know any better. Besides you just mentioned the power dynamic and that’ll put her in a very awkward situation. Try approaching, if you must, once you’re out.
If you wait until you’ve left, this seems fine.