Hi, this is probably my first and last post.
I created this account only to post this and pour myself out; this is my deepest secret but I do really want to be a little free about this.
Pd: Sorry if I make a mistake writing this, english is not my native language
I’m a 21 years old male who has a very very weird fetish (I have others too, but I want to talk about this one first). Basically, it’s a kind of specific medical fetish, I feel sexual desire and excitation by a medical condition called: tracheostomy.
I do not feel attracted by men, so I feel some kind of attraction when I see a women with this medical condition.
All this strated in puberty, when I started feeling attraction by medical things, at the begin, for some orthopedic braces, then it converted in feeling sexual desire for respiratory therapy and finally it ended with this weird fetish.
I have another weird fetishes along with this one like for example feet (nylon feet and fishnet to be specific), some kind of uniforms, some orthopedic braces and some kind of specific piercings…
This doesn’t mean that I don’t have a normal sexual desire at all, I can feel sexual excitation by normal sex and things related that are considered normal (for example lingerie, I really get turned on by this clothes), but it’s not the main source of sexual desire for me.
I used to watch videos and images related to all this fetishes to get turned on and masturbate, and quickly it turned into an addiction.
Recently, I got into a relationship and I have had serious problems to have normal sex with my girlfriend. The first time (which was my first time having sex), I was struggling to keep an erection, because the sexual desire to my girlfriend wasn’t that strong, this happened to me like 2 more times; maybe I may be overthinking about having sex and this could be another factor that makes me lose the erection, because usually, the times that I’ve lost the erection I was thinking about if my performance having sex and if this fetish could make me lose the sexual excitation (I read something called performance anxiety). Other times that we had sex, were amazing and I had a high sexual excitation with strong erections, but, the fetichism is something that haunts me and makes me feel so so stressed, in special when I have to think in having sex.
Currently, I am looking for a solution desperately.
I am trying to stop watching things related with this fetishes completely, and avoid masturbating. And retraining my mind to feel a strong sexual desire for woman’s body and all this normal sexual behavior.
Please, do not judge me. This is something that I didn’t chose and makes feel weird, I have even consider take my life because of this problem that makes me feel as a such nasty and bad person, and the this constant fear of feeling that I could won’t be able to have sex like a normal person and satisfy my partner, it’s just horrible. I’m afraid for my relationship could get affected by this, and my girlfriend could broke with me for this bad performance having sex, and any woman that I could have a relationship…
If you have some advice or recommendation, opinion or question, feel free to ask.
A big greeting for you guys!
1 comment
Tell your girlfriend about your performance anxiety but not the fetish. As you have more sex you’ll probably get less nervous and perform better. Not sure what to tell you about the tracheostomy fetish that is a bit odd.