TL;DR coworker talks non stop for 9 hours a day and ignored her duties leaving me to
Pick up the slack/fall behind on my personal work. Bosses are anti-conflict and also haven’t dealt with it/but are aware and also annoyed. How can I personally address this with them??

As the titles says- My coworker will not stop talking about any/everything. She doesn’t take the cues when you don’t turn around when she’s talking/you go “hmmm” or “ah” as your only response and will get up from her chair to the lean over your side in your face to continue her story so you can’t ignore her.

On top of that, She ignores her job duties and is in the break room/away from her desk on her phone for 3 hours cumulatively everyday. Because of her talking all the time/ignoring her duties- I’m behind in MY personal work bc I’m picking up her slack.

My boss is aware of the situation- they’ve talked to her about it and she finds it insulting that we all can’t talk to each other openly while at work. They also made her aware that she isn’t working while she’s here- she’s socializing and distracting fellow employees.

Nothing has changed/ they’re not letting her go for whatever reason they have- not my business.

I want to be able to help control what I can- the talking. It’s driving me insane. I’ve point blank said “dude I have all this work *points to piles of papers* I can’t talk like this I’m so far behind” and she’ll put her hands up and turn around. Then she resumes the talking and I just can’t.

I’ve worked with her for 4 years now and it’s just getting worse. I’ve tried polite, I’ve tried ignoring it completely- hell, I was having a bad day and literally blew up at her once because of the mounting frustration. It still didn’t stop. She’s literally incapable of not talking all day about her life. I’ve never experienced a coworker like this in my 36 years.

I need some advice on what I can say or do to help her understand I literally CANNOT talk nonstop for 9 hours. I want to rip my ears off.
I’m actively looking for a new job because I can’t take it anymore.

Thanks for sticking through this story lol

14 comments

  1. After 4 years I’m not sure what else you could say lol. I’d have lost my shit by now.

  2. Why are you doing her work? Her boss knows she isn’t doing work, so let her carry on not doing it, or demand a pay rise if they’re making you do the work.

    Money makes companies think. If they’re paying you a lot more to do her job, then how long can they afford to keep her?

    Also, have you tried discreet earphones?

  3. This isn’t difficult. Dentists don’t get much training in running an actual practice and employee management.

    I think you need to not complain about her…while also complaining about her. “I’m worried about getting behind in my work because I had to check out ## patients this week. This seems to be happening more and more lately.”

  4. I would just tell your boss that the co-worker is distracting you from getting YOUR work done.

    Don’t take on the responsibility for her work.

  6. sadly there’s not a whole lot you can do without ruffling feathers after 4 years, especially if the other people really enjoy talking to her.

    If you want it to change, you’ll have to put your foot down and really call her out on her shit yourself. Eg: when shes away, find her and tell her to go back to her desk, etc. Doing this always causes tension and gossip in the work place about how “so and so is becoming way too bossy” now. In fact, you already tried to bring it to their attention and as you can see she already started doing pushback with the whole “we can’t talk at the workplace?” retort.

    I was in this situation for 4 years at my other job, and it didn’t change at all. He talked literally ALL DAY and annoyed numerous people while fucking up constantly, but there were people who loved him precisely because he talked all day and let the fuckups slid. Needless to say, the ones who loved him would always take his side, and nothing got solved.

    That’s just how work is, unfortunately. It’s about who you know and who you get along with vs. getting work done

  7. Time to go to your bosses and let them know you are going to stop doing her work to focus only on your own since her slack is causing you to fall behind. Also – ask them to move you or allow you to work from home so you can get away from her being such a distraction.

  8. No one is gonna fix it for you, no matter how many times you say you can’t not do her work you have two options, you either stop complaining and do her work or you stop doing her work. If you share the same space and the patients can see you I say simply go get her and make her do her job. Don’t take no for an answer and make it clear to your bosses she can either help the patient or they won’t get helped. This is their problem not yours but you’re choosing to take it.

  9. Tell your boss “I’m actively looking for new work, mostly because of her. Either she goes or I go in the next two weeks.”

  10. I tell people like this that I need to focus or they’re distracting me. Of course they will leave me alone that time but inevitably come back to talk. Then I flat out ignore them (I mean direct silence, I don’t even respond with mhmm or yeah). They get the picture or get bored and find someone else to bother. Is it a little rude? Sort of, but not as rude as shirking your responsibilities and inconveniencing others. Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do to get your job done.

    Tell your boss you need accommodations for a low distraction environment to complete your duties on time. Ask your boss about moving desks or the orientation of yours so you don’t have to view the customers. Also ask for a bell up front so she knows when she needs to service customers.

  11. Bose noise cancelling wireless headphones – my saviour at work (usually piano playlists if I need zen) 🤍

  12. I would look for somewhere else to work. I was in the same situation and the chatty coworker was a touchy-feely on top of it (before COVID) and they wouldn’t do anything about it because it wasn’t sexual harassment. In the meantime do not respond and if she asks you why you aren’t responding, hand her the paperwork.

  13. If you cannot express to your employer that your co worker is negatively impacting your ability to do your job, then you should start looking for another job.

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