Boyfriend (24m) held me (20f) down and wouldn’t let me go until he came

48 comments

1. >When he finally did cum, he shoved his dick into my mouth and made me swallow it, something that I didn’t know was going to happen before.

   Your boyfriend raped you.

   I recommend you immediately break up with him and block him.

   There is a slight possibility he doesn’t understand what he did, but I don’t think you should dwell on that.

   If you text him to break up and explain it’s because he violated your consent and assaulted you, his response will tell you a lot about him.

2. > He’s always really respectful and tries to never cross any of my boundaries.

   > he wouldn’t get off because he kept saying he was about to cum

   > he shoved his dick into my mouth and made me swallow it, something that I didn’t know was going to happen before.

   Some respectful guy right there for sure; rape is the highest showcase of respect! (kidding of course)

   While this could possibly be a ‘one off’ thing but I’d take a step back and get a broader view of the type of person he really could be OP

3. If his sexual needs are more important than your consent and work obligations, I think it’s not gonna end well

4. Don’t considering being raped by your bf a “one off” please.

5. You’re not overreacting. He ignored you and then treated you like a sex object. You need to decide for yourself if he’s capable of redeeming himself.

6. You have been assaulted. That’s the truth. It doesn’t matter that it was your boyfriend. It’s still assault.

7. This will be just the start and will not end well.
   Get rid fast and report him as you were raped

8. Sexual union that you weren’t consenting with? Sounds kinda over the rapey line to me.

9. Yeah no he would be an ex after that. That is assault. He didn’t have your consent. That is a deal breaker. No questions asked. I would be done.

10. You are under-reacting and shouldn’t take that.

11. He will do it again. Please break up.

12. You’re both young so maybe, MAYBE, I can give this guy the benefit of the doubt. *Maybe* he’s a fucking idiot.

    You need to talk to him about this and tell him that you are not ok with what happened. And then note his reaction very very carefully. If he gets pissy, dismissive, or in any way fails to give this issue and you the respect you deserve, you need to seriously reconsider this relationship.

    Consent matters. Your boundaries matter. And any partner you have should damn well better agree or they’re not worth being with.

13. Sometimes people act out in unbecoming ways that is counter to who they are.

    Sometimes they are aware of their own flaws and instead of tackling those flaws they hide them. But no one can hide forever.

    I would talk about the experience with him but just review the facts of what happened what was said, etc. And just ask him if he thinks any part of it was wrong.

14. “He’s always really respectful and tries to never cross any of my boundaries”

    Then proceeds to tell us how exactly disrespectful he is and how he crossed boundaries.

    Girl, bffr.

15. > He’s always really respectful and tries to never cross any of my boundaries.

    Posts that start with any variation of this usually follows with a story of the SO being absolutely not respectful.

16. That’s not ok on so many levels. He didn’t respect you or your wishes…He took what he wanted. …that’s rape..

17. That’s assault babe. Doesn’t matter that he’s your boyfriend. I would end things now before that kind of behavior that he clearly thinks is ok, escalates to something even worse.

18. I don’t think you’re overreacting. I think you’re under reacting.

    Please absolutely have a conversation with him that this is not ok and he violated your boundaries. Tell him it was disrespectful with what he did bc he didn’t listen to the things you asked him not to do and it is not ok.

    He better have one hell of an apology for you, bc this is a huge violation of trust!

19. Sorry hun, he treated you like a sex doll and seems to have no issue with that. You are a whole person who deserves love and respect, neither of which your bf gave to you.

20. You’re not overreacting. He did that without your consent because here cared more about his needs than yours. So girl, you’re either okay with that and stay with him or you get out asap cause he will do it again. Doubt he cares about what you want.

21. “no” “stop” are the sorts of words that ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS mean STOP DOING WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU ARE DOING.

    If you asked/told your bf to stop and he didn’t…. yea, that’s REALLY REALLY REALLY bad. Like possible jail time bad.

    So no, you are not over reacting. What you do next is up to you, obviously. If you still want to be with him, then a conversation about boundaries is an absolute minimum. See how he reacts to how FUCKED UP A SITUATION HE DID!

    Best of luck.

22. He raped you, he’s a rapist. Im so sorry this happened to you, and I know it’s hard to hear (or read) but that is rape.

23. Honestly that is basically assault. The only excuse for doing this would be to act out a fantasy but it needs to be consensual. This was uncalled for.

24. You’re under reacting. I wouldn’t ever forgive someone for treating me like a sex object.

25. I personally would have spit it back on him but that’s just me. That’s so disrespectful. You are UNDER reacting. You need to ream his ass out and put your foot down if you don’t want this to go on for the rest of the relationship.

    If my boyfriend of 3 years (soon to be fiancé) did some shit like that to me, we would not be renewing our lease.

26. Wtf… that relationship won’t end well 😂he used you like an object how is that overreacting

27. That’s rape

28. Bite his dick next time if he decides to act like this again.

29. Yeah, you’re not much more to him than a “fucktoy”. He doesn’t respect you at all. Leave asap.

30. He sexually assaulted you. No means no. He has shown you his needs are more important than you. You should leave before it happens again.

31. You’re trying to reason away an unreasonable situation.

    You BF held you down and forced you to preform a sexual act against your will – that’s sexual assault.

32. Totally unacceptable. In any sexual situation, if one partner says it’s time to stop, then everything should immediately stop. He crossed a consent boundary and needs to be held accountable. I’m sorry that happened to you.

33. Sounds like rape to me

34. This is fucking assault and I’m so sorry this happened to you

35. A dude just pinned you down and came in your mouth to a point you had no choice to swallow and you worried about if YOU over reacted to that???

36. OP – When you describe your boyfriend to some strangers on the net, his actions does not reflect a respectful guy.

    The kind of guy you initially described, would have put off his needs and told you to go to your meeting; as-in, he respects that you have your own life and needs and creates healthy boundaries on his own, without having to be told to do so.

    What you described could easily be construed as rape, primarily because YOU weren’t respected in that moment. Some food for thought.

37. >He’s always really respectful

    The title of this post has me doubting you. Should I read on?

38. So I am not excusing his behavior here. I’d just like a better understanding of what happened and I have questions. I think he crossed a line based on your post but there are varying degrees of bad behavior and while not necessarily excusable, some can be communicated through and others should be seen as a large enough red flag that you should run as fast as possible.

    Was it clear that you were uncomfortable? Did you give any indication at all that this was not cool with you or were you telling him only to hurry because you might be late. If any reasonable person would understand the cues that this wasn’t ok with you, then you have a giant problem. If you went with the flow, while still wrong, maybe he didn’t think he was doing anything wrong? Still bad but not so bad that I’d be concerned for your safety.

39. You’re not overreacting. You should be up front and let him know you don’t appreciate being treated that way.

40. he exerted his dominance over you by putting his dank desires first , above your meeting or wishes

    he held u down and used u like a doll , then he left , don’t allow that behavior, that’s how douche bags are born, fucking disgusting things without consent are not to be disregarded or made less of a deal

    tell him to never do that shit, on the other hand , make HIM make YOU cum first before class or something make him be late , se how he reacts , it’s only fair

41. As a guy I would never had done that, sounds like something that started out consensual end up may have ended up sexual abuse. You can find someone better

42. Not okay. Time to draw the line, hard! Full stop. Fetishist stuff is fine but communication must be in place and the minute you voice your withdrawal- it HAS to end. If not, that’s disrespectful and assaulty.

43. Not discussed before hand means he took advantage of you. Make him own up to it, apologize or get the fuck out

44. If my SO was giving me a handjob for 20 minutes and going to be late for a meeting I would tell her to leave and finish the job myself. That’s what respectful people do. Not this.

45. OP… that’s sexual assault. I don’t know what else to say except I’m sorry and please get rid of him.

46. I’m sorry, OP, but he raped you. This isn’t a grey area. Get away from him forever and report it. Take care of yourself, I’m sorry you had to experience that.

47. He sexually assaulted you, he did something without your concent. He should become your ex.

48. You don’t have a boyfriend – you have a rapist.