What does it feel like to be a biological mother with no maternal instinct?

5 comments

1. [removed]

2. [removed]

3. Idk it just is. Ultimately I don’t think I’m any different than bio moms who do- you can match instinct with knowledge, experience, and the desire to gain both. Love your child and legitimately do your best.

   Instinct is overrated 🤷‍♀️

4. What do you mean by maternal instinct?

5. I never had any maternal instinct. I never had any desire to hold a baby or have a baby. I wasn’t wired that way. I asked for a tubal ligation and was denied, because I hadn’t had 2 kids yet, and wasnt 30. Despite birth control I had two children. I never felt like I could ‘play’ with either of them, I felt awkward and silly. I didnt hang out with other mothers in the neighborhood or have ‘play dates’erc because I felt so uncomfortable with kids around. The younger one’s father ended up raising him 100% while I raised the older one 100% so there was no back and forth. I did my best but I didnt have the instinct, the connection…. I always regretted how it must have been for him, and that he deserved better, but I couldn’t be someone else… I kept him fed and clothed and healthy, we spent time together and Ibread him stories and made cookies and all of that but I felt like I was acting. He is 27 now and as adults now we’re friends and I’ve asked for his forgiveness and he said he understands… and he’s not angry about it. He is smart, funny, ambitious, compassionate and kind, so he turned out wonderfully… but I still feel the whole experience was hard for him. Not everyone is automatically a good parent and while I did my best, I was lacking that maternal instinct for sure.