I’ve been talking to this guy for around three months and things have been great. We have been having unprotected sex, with the understanding that if we decide to have sex with anyone else it would be protected. I let him know I take my sexual health seriously and that I’ve been tested. He verbally told me he did too and stated he was clean from the first time we had sex. Now we are 3 months in and he calls me in the afternoon one day and tells me that he went to the doctors for a “general check up” and got tested for STD/STI’s. This was weird considering we talk all the time and the night before his appointment I asked him what he had planned for the next day and he said “nothing just relaxing and watching tv”. The morning of his appointment I didn’t receive a good morning text or call as I usually do, but initially I didn’t think anything of it being that I knew he had the day off so I figured he was sleeping in. So when he called and he was in the car I had stated “oh I didn’t even know you were up”. He proceeded to tell me that he went for the check up because he wanted to establish a new doctor in his area (he recently moved here). Then he tells me he got tested. I was like oh okay that’s great, but why? I asked if he had any symptoms and he said no. But then he went on to say that he told his doctor he once saw something white at the tip of his penis but then he never saw it again. He and I talk about so much so I was shocked that he said this but didn’t think to ask me if I felt okay or if I had any symptoms. Why would he tell me he didn’t have symptoms but then a moment later tell me that he told his doctor he saw something that may have concerned him? He then tells me that he hasn’t had sex with anyone other than me unprotected in his entire life. He just keeps saying I’m the only one he’s ever had sex with raw. He tells me he hasn’t had sex with anyone since we started talking 3 months ago and ask me have I been having sex with anyone else. I told him no, which is the truth. He then goes on to tell me that it will take 3 days for him to get his results back, but the doctor gave him a shot on his butt and prescribed an antibiotic. It was at this moment where I started raising an eyebrow. Why would a doctor treat you for something that is unknown all in one appointment? I decided I should go get tested myself as well. I had a trip planned the next day so I booked my appointment for the day after I got back from the trip without telling him. He told me that he would let me know the results of his test when I got back from my trip and that whether it was good or bad, he was not going to let me know while I was on the trip. The day I returned from the trip I went to visit him in person. I was anxious about the results, but I didn’t want to be the one to bring it up yet. 30 minutes into our conversation he randomly says oh by the way “I’m good”. He doesn’t show me the results he just states it verbally. So I said “okay good is there any reason as to why you thought it would be any other way”, and he said “no, but if it was, he would be mad because it couldn’t be from him “. He said he received his results back 3days prior to his appointment but waited after my vacation to let me know. I then let him know that I too had to schedule an appointment to get tested. He seemed a bit nervous but I brushed it off. So the next day I go to my doctors appointment and I let her know that my partner had been tested but only verbally stated that everything came back clean. I also tell her that his doctor had still given him a shot in his butt and prescribed doxycycline. She told me that it was alarming that he was given treatment for chlamydia and gonorrhea in the same appointment while getting tested. She went a head and tested me and I should receive my results in 3-5 days. Is it me overthinking, or does something seem off. I’d love for some feedback!!
8 comments
Relax, take a breath.
Learn about paragraphs.
Some doctors are more aggressive about treating things that others, and some doctors are still in the “we’ll do this just in case” mindset.
Ask him to show you the results.
The thing is, if he still wants to have sex with you, it’s very likely that he’s telling the truth. After all, if he’s been having sex with you, then you both have whatever he may have, and if he keeps having sex with you then he’ll just get reinfected.
Yes it does seems offZ His nervousness around it is weird so it is possible that he has been seeing someone else and was scared. If you aren’t in a monogamous relationship where you can trust someone I suggest that you always use protection and get checked regularly either way. I hope you don’t have anything
I get your POV but also isn’t there the chance that he could want to have sex with me and give me what he has so he can go back and say I’m the one that gave him xyz?
Some guys will say anything to avoid wearing a condom. “I’m good” could mean “I have STDs but they’re being treated”. Unfortunately, the CDC is reporting that gonorrhea is becoming resistant to standard treatment.
It’s water under the bridge at this point. Either your results will come back negative or they’ll come back positive, in which case your doctor will give you treatment. So, while it’s probably impossible not to worry I’d say don’t lose any sleep over it while you wait for your own test results.
Then, insist on seeing his test results before you decide whether or not to have unprotected sex with him again.
Unfortunately you can’t take someone’s word on something like that. The only way to ease your mind at this point is to go get yourself tested again and ask to see his results, not have him tell you what his results were. You need to see the test results with your own eyes.
There’s nothing more you can do than take this as a lesson. Don’t take peoples word for it – ask to see the results and be willing to show your own. Anyone who doesn’t want to show you has a reason.
It’s true that some doctors will treat an STI before getting results but usually only if symptoms are already present or if there was a known and confirmed exposure. So something was very likely up and it’s a good thing you’ve gone and gotten tested. Fingers crossed for you that everything is negative.
If you are both having sex with other people (protected or not) you two should have a regular testing schedule. Dont forget many STIs can be transmitted even with condom usage and many can be contracted orally. It’s simply a risk of being sexually active and nothing to be ashamed of if it happens but thats no reason not to be careful.
Side notes: the preferred word here would be “negative” and not “clean” when discussing results. Because contracting a STI does not make someone dirty. And if you havent already gotten your HPV vaccine make sure to look in to doing so (and have your partner(s) do the same).
>I’d love for some feedback!!
Okay. Don’t have barrier free sex with someone you barely know. You have no idea if you can trust this guy.
Update: my test all came back negative. Maybe I was overthinking things but better safe than sorry