I feel like as a man, I’m strongly driven by always wanting to be there for people, fix things for them or provide some sort of value. I, unintentionally, tend to dip out of situations and relationships when I see that I don’t bring them any good.
I’ve noticed that I thrive a lot better when I have the people or women around me that I adore.
It feels like I do this to the point that I’m neglectful of my own priorities, especially when times have changed and everyone is more focused on the idea of individualism. It scares me that I give too much but will be left with not much since I didn’t give myself the same time and put it all into others.
I struggle to see myself valuable unless I see someone else finding some value for themselves, in me.
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That’s manhood for you.
You can take care of yourself once your loved ones have been taken care of.
Some people find satisfaction is making others satisfied, that’s completely fine. But yeah it’s important to have some me time every now and then. Treat yourself out and just take care of yourself, man. You deserve it.
Sorting yourself out is good for everybody.
It’s actually pretty simple.
Contributing to the world and helping others is the goal.
Being able to do so is the prerequisite.
Helping others in a way that diminishes your ability to do so in the future should be the exception, and you should always think carefully before you do so.
You learn and act on the fact that, in the words of Ayn Rand,
>Man—every man—is an end in himself, not the means to the ends of others. He must exist for his own sake, neither sacrificing himself to others nor sacrificing others to himself. The pursuit of his own rational self-interest and of his own happiness is the highest moral purpose of his life.
Some important values necessary for you to live and achieve happiness are good friends and loved ones. You definitely should provide value back in return for the value they are to your life, that can just mean being yourself since gain value from spending time with you just like you do with them. Like, do you befriend someone just because they fix things for you yourself? Helping them sometimes is for course important for your friend, your friendship, your life.
I don’t know what you need to do to get there specifically, but at the very least, you can’t give your 100% to the people you care about if you aren’t taking care of yourself the right way. I’m sure these people value you for who you are, not what you can give to them. And you should remove people who feel the opposite from your life. Your loved ones will be at peace knowing you’re okay. Also, it’s okay to say no sometimes. If someone intentionally guilts you for it, then that is also not someone you really want in your inner circle.