Hi. The pandemic and being at home office hit me hard. I was having minor depression/anxiety symptoms before the pandemic, but when both the bar and gym closed I got very isolated. I started smoking weed everyday and at one point I did not see much point in living. I got reckless with my money, put myself into debt and lost a ton of weight. I am now underweight at 58kg and 184cm (130lbs / 6”) and feel the lowest I have ever been. My posture is so poor and I have almost no muscles left. Just walking down the stairs can sometimes make my legs start to shake. Last Monday a girl I had a thing with back when I was 14 asked me out (I am now 28). We are in the same friend group and often drink together and gather during parties, so we have somewhat stayed in touch but rarely talk. I realise a girlfriend would most likely be good for me in the long run. I agreed to meet her Thursday this week, but if I’m honest with myself I think I’ll just make the date become awkward especially in the state I’m in. That said, last Thursday I decided to break the cycle and stopped smoking completely. Nothing has motivated me to get my shit back together more than this girl. I want to be completely transparent, like just be myself. But, I have a very poor self esteem now and I’m scared I’ll be to negative and too much in my own head. I feel dating should not be my main focus at the moment, but rather a goal in the distant. The withdrawals are making my anxiety worse, but I know it’s temporary. I know once I’ll start gaining weight, fix the debt and start to live more healthy I’ll be back to myself again. I haven’t cancelled the date and I really would like to go, but I’m afraid the timing is bad. I want to buy more time, but that’s also the story of my life. Putting things off..
I don’t have any specific question I guess, but would really appreciate some words of advice or thoughts.
Thanks a lot! 🙏🏼
4 comments
Sorry you’re going through some difficulties. Just as you are transparent here, be the same with her when/if she asks certain questions to you. Go on the date, and try to enjoy her company. Keep your head up!🤗
You know what’s perceived as strong, confident and attractive? Even though you are weakened now, you are willing to accept going out with her, comfortable in your own skin (make pandemic jokes on how you became skinny or something like that), and your plans to get on track, why not?
The goal is if there is an opportunity you TAKE IT. if you fail, you fail on your terms. Never ever regret missed opportunities this way. GL bro
Hey, rarely comment but just gonna post here to encourage you on keeping this up. You’re aware of your situation which is great. Also, my advice to you is to work towards being the person you’d like to meet, then work toward being the person you’d like to be with, nothing is easy but consistency is what will reap you the most results ! Lastly, a date doesn’t and shouldn’t be all about you : be interesting by being interested in what she has going on/likes ! Cheers buddy you got this 🙂
Fuck, I believe the wise decision here is to try and put it off. I can barely walk outside and I constantly have to snap out of my own head. I’m so anxious I can barely speak with the cashier. I have tunnel vision when walking outside and struggle to just take a stroll around the block. I have no problem showing up, but I just know the state I’m in I won’t be able to carry a normal conversation, embarrass myself and make it uncomfortable for her. I have intense diarrhoea and sweat like a pig, due to withdrawals. Two months ago I started on anti-depressants which I believe is not working well as I much more dizzy than usual… I hate myself at the moment… and the normal me who is quite witty won’t be there at all. I just have to realise the facts..