So, we started dating almost 2 years ago and in the beginning we had sex like 2/3 times a week and it was perfect for both. However as time goes by, our frequency is declining more and more. 1 year ago it was like once a week, and for me although i wanted some more, it was ok. But in the past 4/5 months we did it ~ once a month. I would never break up because I’m not dating just for sex, but for me it’s a fun moment we have together and I miss a lot, and with the lack of sex I get very restless and stressed and also a bit annoying manly with him.
We already talked about it but he only says he wants it too, but is doing absolutely nothing to actually make it happen. Sometimes I try and he rejects, it seems we only do it when he wants, and he doesnt take in account my needs. He always says he is busy, or we dont have time, he also refuses when I try to iniciate and someone is at home (but it already happened some times when he iniciated it). I don’t know more what to say or to do, i tell him he can say if he is not in the mood, or if he doesnt want it for some time, but he always says he want it, but does nothing to make it happen in real life and most of the times only makes am excuse. Its quite frustrating because he says he wants and does the opposite most of the times. What should i do?
Tl;dr: sex frequency with bf is declining and i dont know what to do
3 comments
Communication is key – make sure you’re both on the same page about what you want and need from each other.
You can buy a dildo hahah and use it blatantly
Sex is a huge part of a relationship, and if you’re not on the same page in general in terms of frequency and drive, eventually it’s going to lead to a lot of frustration and a lack of sexual fulfillment.
To me, though, this says a lot: “Sometimes I try and he rejects, it seems we only do it when he wants, and he doesnt take in account my needs.”
Just seems like a very one-sided approach. I don’t know of any couple that’s always in the mood 100% of the time, but the reality is, sometimes you just go along with it to make your partner happy.
I would have an honest conversaiton with him about it. Tell him straight up what you’ve said here. He says one thing, does another, is willing to have sex when it’s on his terms, but that’s it. If that’s just the way he’s going to be, or if he’s unwilling to reach some kind of compromise, then you need to decide if you are ok with this lack of sexual compatibility.
good luck.