I’m so fucking frustrated because it’s been a long week already, I take good care of her and I just want my pussy ate slow and sloppy and she basically turned her back to me tonight. I also prepared my body for sex tonight, shaving and using my favorite products on my skin, etc. And nothing but going to sleep angry and likely having sex in my dreams.
Everyone here advocates for the importance of talking/communication and I get it. But when it comes to sex you want things to flow naturally. I never want to bring up something and my partner changes just because I asked, to me this is a turn off, I would rather her have those qualities already. But this is a conversation we have had at least fifty times.
I have a super high sex drive. When sex is not fulfilling I tend to desire more sex. I get in my head about it and can’t stop thinking about being pleasured / satisfied. I obsess over it. Right now I’m at this point even having sex in my dreams. In the bedroom it’s 85% of me giving and 15% of me receiving. She has full body orgasms, squirting, shaking, etc. The experience is so fucking pleasurable on her end. She has zero complaints about sex. We are lesbians so foreplay and sex will typically last 2-4 hrs. Out of this time I usually get 1-2 mins of foreplay, and 15 mins of receiving. I tried to switch and let her initiate, she doesn’t want to.
I want her to be eager. I want her to tell me she wants me. That’s I’m sexy/beautiful. That she loves tasting me. She comes off like it’s a chore to her, this puts my deep inside my head/thoughts and impacts my ability to orgasm. For example, when I use a strap on sometimes the friction against my lady parts causes me to orgasm. She gets upset if I don’t orgasm from this because then she has to get up and put forth effort. I want to be with someone that RANDOMLY wants to have sex and initiate sex. This has impacted my self esteem tremendously. I’m very open sexually I’m the type of girl to straight up say I want my pussy ate and from the back lol, she is not like this in any capacity. I’m very sexual, sometimes I will start foreplay and eat her pussy just for my pleasure without requesting a thing in return. She likes to say oh I will be more like you when we are married with kids. I tell her respectfully I can only take you at face value now.
She is also my first and only sexual partner. When we first had sex I was the only virgin and I thought she was one because she was all over the place. It took years before I was able to orgasm with her. I regret when I was young/dumb faking orgasms with her. She still likes to say I’m complicated when it comes to orgasming or I take too long ~ 30 mins unless I’m extremely aroused. This puts me in my head. Many times when she has given me oral I lay there in my head like what is even this? I have this horrible fear if I ever did let another woman experienced eat me out I would explode instantly. It’s very rare that it feels really good. And this causes me to obsess about sex even more and wonder what certain pleasures may feel like.
I guess I’m so fucking frustrated because it’s been a long week already, I take good care of her and I just want my pussy ate slow and sloppy and she basically turned her back to me tonight.
10 comments
She sounds incompatible w you
My love, of course sex isn’t *everything*… but it’s so important to be sexually compatible and it sounds like this isn’t it. Not only that but she also doesn’t seem to be concerned with your pleasure but is more than happy to be treated like a queen.
You deserve better than that.
She’s in the direction of a pillow princess.
The quality of your life would be so much better with a partner who wants sex all the time, wants long sessions, is highly verbal during sex, who’s expressive in general, who’s eager. It’s not just about the sex, it’s about a personality that’s warm, spontaneous, eager, and talkative. Although the quest to find this woman could be arduous, the payoff would be so high. It’s worth the try.
This imballance sounds really frustrating. Yes, sex isn’t the main part of a relationship, but it is an important part of it.
If you guys really had the talk about your needs (I recommend you do it outside a sexual moment) and how each of you would like your sex to go (detail your prefferences for each step – foreplay, sex, aftercare), then it is truly unfair what is going on for you.
Some people have spontanious desire and others have responsive desire, you could try learning about that together and see how that could change your sex.
At last, _from where I see it_, if a partner doesn’t want or feel, isn’t willing to make the other happy, in all aspects of the relationship, something is wrong and it should be a red flag or a reason to consider ending things.
She’s trying to trap you. Marriage with kids will make her even worse
There is no way in any version of the multiverse that she will change her game and become a sex goddess after you get married and have kids. You may need to just level with her. Think about it… unless really aroused it takes 20-30 minutes to orgasm? She’s not even turning you on very much. Do not settle in your life from what makes you full and happy. There aren’t any refunds.
Your frustration – sooner or later – will push you to seek a different partner.
Why don’t you get sincere with your partner? And if there is no solution – you will know what to do.
I’m a dude and I literally wish my wife would let me eat her out for hrs and fourplay that long
It is OK to say goodbye.
I am a lesbian as well and I am same type as you in the bedroom and was in a relationship with the girl that was same as your girlfriend when it comes to sex. Issue is that it didnt just cause frustration physically, but also lead to emotional damage for me and low self esteem.
Girls I hooked up with were sooo fulfilling sexually so I was very vocal about this shit not working with my ex. She was my first real girlfriend too but this and other things led to a collapse of a relationship. I know what its like to hold on tightly because finding another woman is hard. There is more scarcity involved and so much more difficult to let go if she is your first gf.
It might be more difficult for you because you are in a much longer relationship with your gf then I was with mine, but please think about leaving.
Out of women I had sex with, all the other except the one that was my actual girlfriend were fucking amazing in bedroom. Attentive, horny, looked at me like a Godess and love to experiment. Even tho I am not dating now I have belief and I know I can find a life partner that is good in bedroom, if I had odds to find women that are so amazing already + a new one will just have to want to commit to a forever with me❤.
What I want to say is there are many lesbian and bisexual women who would adore your pussy if they had a chance. Some are like your gf but ones like your gf are not in majority and you deserve the one that is good like you are.