It’s been this way my entire life, I don’t think it has to do with how I carry myself because when all of this started, I had good self-esteem and confidence.
It’s easy to say, “you’re not doing enough,” and “maybe if you tried initiating you wouldn’t have this problem,” though I found out the hard way that trying to talk to people who look like they don’t want to talk to you (avoiding eye contact, ignoring you) will get you bullied and rejected. It never mattered how I carried myself, the result was the same.
As I said, I’ve been dealing with this my whole life. People don’t like acknowledging that it’s not normal to never have people want to talk to you, and it’s not normal to feel invisible. If this was all in my head I would’ve fixed this by now, especially with all the work I’ve been doing.
People always seem to say “no one thinks about you that much,” but the problem is if I’m in a social gathering, in the split second in which a person sees me they judge me as worthless. I can’t figure out why this is.
I’m definitely not intimidating, my hygiene is fine, maybe I’m ugly, but I don’t know what else it could be.
If this seems like a foreign experience to you, don’t just dismiss it. Maybe also try to think about what would make you treat someone this way?
2 comments
Live life true to yourself. Perhaps being more assertive can help, but all the little things add up too. Decorate your office/workspace, dress how you like, do the things you enjoy. The overlaps you have with others will naturally reveal themselves. What you don’t want to do is get caught up in what other people might think about you. It’s easy to not see how short life is when you’re young. Not be dismissive of others, but don’t put too much care into them either. Be a good person and as I said above, be unashamedly true to who you are.
You say people just you as worthless as soon as they see you. That’s impossible. Personally i see no one as worthless so thats automatically untrue. You believe they see you that way, and because you believe it, that ends up becoming true. It truly is all about your beliefs. Somewhere along the way you lost yourself. Where is it?
Why do you need others to see value in you? Why do you see no value in yourself? Are you actually being yourself or who you believe people want you to be? Im going to assume youre not comfortable around strangers. Why? Everything is why. Challenge your beliefs because these beliefs are not truly yours, theyre what youve been taught