We have been dating for around 6 months. I looked through my gfs phone (I know it was a bad thing to do) and saw that she texted some things that hurt me to her friend. Her friend was talking about her own boyfriend and the convo went like this.
GF: I wish I had a man. A real man
Friend: OP is nice though
GF: I guess. He just gets on my nerves sometimes.
The morning after I was a little distant and she noticed and then I asked her if there was anything I could improve on or that got her mad etc. She said no, that I was perfect. These messages were over a month ago, after valentines day. Also, I know she has looked through my phone as well because I saw her text the same friend that she looked through my phone and found nothing except a photo album dedicated to her.
I dont know if i should confront her because I feel bad about looking through her phone but also the “I wish I had a man” line really hurt me as it makes me change the way I thought she viewed the relationship. She always tells me how happy she it with me and how much she loves me.
TLDR: I looked thru GF phone and she said “I wish I had a man” to her friend about a month ago. She also has previously looked thru my phone.
4 comments
Did you piss her off that day?
If you don’t look you won’t get your feelings hurt. It was probably something minor and not a big deal which is why you don’t even know about it. If that’s the only thing since the day after Valentine’s Day I wouldn’t even worry about it.
Y’all need to stop this invasions of privacy, what in the world makes you think you are not only entitled to snoop, but of being mad if what you find is not of your liking? GROW UP PLEASEEEEE
Yes, you should ask her about it. This can be a communication issue on her part. She might be bottling her dissatisfaction about you in some aspect, while refusing to tell you about it. This is obviously a toxic behaviour, but not something that can’t be worked through. However, to fix such issues, at least one of you need to strive towards clear and open communication, regarding your behaviours and feelings. Which is why you should absolutely ask her about it.
Alternatively, she is upset, about something she understands she shouldn’t be upset about it, or sth inherent to you that isn’t necessarily a flaw and can’t be changed easily. This possibility still requires dialogue.