\- Something that you just wouldn’t be able to get past no matter what

38 comments

  1. Cheating. Or even past/frequent cheating with previous partners. What’s stopping them from cheating on me?

  5. Doesn’t like animals. I’ve never trusted someone who can’t appreciate the unconditional love pets give.

    Edit To Add:
    Since this is getting a lot of comments, let me clarify something here. With anxiety, depression, and ASD diagnoses, my pets help ease my symptoms. This is why I wouldn’t be with someone who didn’t like pets because I personally require them in my home to function as happily as I can in society.

    Now, back to the main thing of not trusting people who dislike animals. I am fully aware I have a bias here. I can’t function without my pets in my life, and it’s very hard for me to be able to understand how anyone could dislike animals. There is something in my head that immediately tells me to be cautious and to watch the behaviors of folks I’m aware dislike animals. I’m not entirely sure why my brain personally tells me this, but it is there.

    I apologize for offending anyone with this dealbreaker, but it isn’t changing the fact that this is my dealbreaker.

  6. 1) Drugs and excessive drinking. If they want to do those things, that’s their choice, but I won’t be in a relationship with anyone who does.
    2) Violence to anyone/anything
    3) Cheating

  7. “BIGGEST” dealbreaker?

    Isn’t a dealbreaker, a dealbreaker regardless of how BIG it is?

  8. 1. Anyone that wants to eat their cake and have it too when it comes to relationship issues- I feel like that covers anything from cheating to the more nuanced stuff.

    2. Anyone who still does the whole “you’re lucky I even show up” attitude and gets indignant anytime you have expectations.

  17. frequent lying (i believe that certain lies are okay as long as the lie doesn’t hurt anything, but it’s easy to cross the line). example: had an ex promise me over and over again that he didn’t talk to any of his exes. i found out about a month later that his girl best friend is his ex. lotta shit happened between them while i was with him. the lying ruined the relationship.

  20. Cheating or if they had dated one of my friends. Its a no go either way both are too messy to deal with

  21. Substance abuse or dependence. There are other things that I wouldn’t go for either. All dealbreakers are equal tho. Broke is broke.

  22. Cheating, compulsive liars, someone who cares too much what others think.

  23. Lack of respect for me and/or women in general.

    Otherwise … I went out with a guy once who went to Alaska or somewhere far north to hunt and kill a polar bear. It was legal. He spent a ton of money to get the license and travel there. He has it mounted in his living room. I did not see it, nor did I want to. Because I was so turned off by the fact that he purposely spent all that time and money to go murder an innocent animal just living it’s best life in the arctic circle.

  24. any form of misogyny or seeing women as different or anything like that! no thank you!

  25. -Hygiene.

    -Dark triad personality. All together or even just one of them.

    – Alcoholism, or daily drinking….

    – Unemployment or lack of employment for an able adult.
    ..,. There’s more but too many lol

  26. Someone who smokes, cheats, being disrespectful, or abusive. To anything or anyone. Just be nice. Not too difficult.

  28. Mistreating anyone in customer service. If they can act like an asshole to them, they can and most likely will turn that anger toward you.

  30. Alcohol and drugs ! I’m sorry I refuse to associate with people who do that heavily!! It seems like most folks idea of fun includes those 2 things and it’s annoying ! Like damn you HAVE to get high before we leave the house ?

  31. Sex offenders or pedophiles. I just found out that one of my exes was charged with 10 Class B felonies in the 1st degree for distributing and viewing child sex abuse materials (child porn) 9 years ago. Second time, I went out on a ONE date with a guy from Tinder or whatever and just as we sat down, he tells me he’s “technically” a sex offender. I didn’t say anything for a second, and so he continued. Apparently when he was 26 (dude’s mid-40s now), he had a sexual relationship with a 15 year old girl. He said he went to all of the court-ordered classes, and then proceeds to say that “but she was really mature for her age” and “she wanted it too.” Clearly didn’t learn a DAMN thing. I walked out. And left him with the bill, bc fucking GROSS, and I don’t feel bad about it.

    I’m not sure what it says about me that I keep attracting these types. I was married for 24 years and I was 18 when I met my 27 year old husband (hmmm). And the final nail in the coffin of our relationship was when I found out he was having an emotional affair with my son’s 14 y/o girlfriend. Her parents got involved bc they saw the messages and found it incredibly inappropriate. I guess he was lamenting to this young, already traumatized and very mentally ill girl about what a horrible person I was (🙄) and would discuss the state of our marriage, among other things, I guess. He wouldn’t let me read the messages, bc I they were highly inflammatory and I am the subject of his rage (this isn’t news). The moral of the story, for me anyway, no dating, no relationships until I fix my picker.

    I’ve been in weekly therapy for 5 years, so I’m doing the hard work. If I date now, I will always wonder if he’s hiding something. Unfortunately, I am now forced to do background checks in the future. Ooof. That was a long one. Thanks for listening to my TED Talk.

  32. Bad hygiene
    If you can’t take care of yourself and living space .. you have no business in my life 🙂

  33. I couldn’t date someone who was extremely religious… and I’m pretty sure they wouldn’t want to date me either

  36. Flakiness. I can’t invest in anyone who doesn’t respect other people’s time.

  37. Poly / ENM

    We have nothing more to discuss. I want to find my forever person and I don’t wanna date multiple people.

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