i started dating my boyfriend about 4 months ago and now i feel insecure.
this guy is just overall amazing. he treats me right, he has a set career path and is committed, he’s smart and hardworking, kind, generous, the whole 9 yards.
i love him. and he thinks the absolute world of me.
i’ve always had self esteem issues. i’ve been insecure for a long time, and i am just now starting to heal and love myself. the thing about this is that i know that it’s hard to be in a loving relationship if you don’t love yourself. a lot of the time i feel like i don’t deserve his love or time. the thing about my boyfriend is that he is very attractive. i consider myself decently attractive, but i’m no model. i try SO hard not to because it kills me inside, but i find myself constantly comparing myself to other girls. i get super insecure and sometimes think that im not enough for him, or not pretty enough.
i really want to enjoy my time with him and feel comfortable being his girlfriend. sometimes when we are out in public i can feel girls staring at me. my insecurities tell me that he’s too good for me. i don’t know how to shake this feeling. we are also long distance so i feel like that adds to the anxiety.
TL;DR: i (18f) am feeling insecure abt my relationship with my (21m) bf
3 comments
Just remember that he chose you for a reason, he obviously thinks you’re amazing too!
You’ll never be as pretty as “some other girl” — no one is. The most beautiful women in the world have insecurities, too. Build up your confidence in the areas that you are strong in. Lean into the things that you do well, whether that’s being a great friend or a great organizer, or a skill like basketball or knitting or writing. If you don’t have an area that you feel confident in, find something you want to work on, that you will feel proud to have accomplished. You can always remind yourself that he chose you for a reason, but you want to be able to see yourself as worthwhile through your own eyes, not only through his.
Seriously, a good therapist works wonders for issues like this. They can help you get to the route of your issue and personslize a treatment plan. Far better than internet strangers with limited information. The key is finding a therapist that fits you and honestly engaging in the work. In the meantime, try not to psyche yourself out and self sabotage.