Women of Reddit: What was your financial journey like after divorce?

19 comments

1. Easier, but that’s largely because I wasn’t constantly trying to dig out from under the massive debt that my ex was continuously creating anymore. I spent the entire year before the divorce paying off every debt he had so that we could split debt-free and with equal bank accounts. Without his constant financial fiascos, I was able to safely work through my own budget and build up a savings safety net. He was back into tens of thousands of debts again 6 months later.

2. Yes. Because my ex wasn’t around to spend all my income. 😂. I came out ahead just because I had assets coming into the marriage.

3. Well, I certainly realized that he wasn’t contributing to our household at all. In fact, he was holding me back. He lied constantly.

4. Yes. Without him screwing up things when he was left at home with the kids (he destroyed three ovens by starting fires, so this was not little stuff), I was able to get a job outside of the home making far more than I was making working little gigs while being a SAHM.
   And then without him fucking up the finances and over drafting us every week, I was able to save money. AND without him doing things like getting secret credit cards and maxing them out without paying them, I was able to fix my credit.
   Also without him around, my vehicles stay in much better condition, so I am not constantly shelling money for repairs. My insurance costs went down a ton too, because he is no longer on my plan.

   Every part of my finances has gotten easier. And this bum does not pay child support or alimony or contribute anything he was supposed to, like half of childcare, extracurricular, medical bills, none of it. And I am still WAY better off.
   I even bought my dream truck last year.

5. Well i became homeless

6. I bought a house about 5 months after the breakup, which totally burned through my savings (the house itself, plus having to buy *everything* to fill it, from forks to furniture). Have been slowly restabilizing ever since, but I’m optimistic 🙂 My ex was… we’ll say “work-averse” yet would frequently find new, expensive hobbies, so financially I’m still way better off solo.

7. I immediately had more money. Supporting two kids is cheaper than supporting two kids and a husband.

   Eventually, I met another financially stable partner and his reliability led me to becoming a homeowner.

8. No children here. I was able to focus more on my career without problems once in a while.

   I let him have the house to avoid the divorce from dragging out longer. In a sense it helped me carve out a fresh start and remove any negativity that I had to go through.

   No financial issues so I was able to transition with no problems. Moved into an apartment and since then I run my own dental clinic. No need to buy a home yet.

9. Yes – without his nagging / whining, I felt more free and happy. My mental state improved, and I got a huge promotion at work a year later.

10. I did great. Refinanced the house and didn’t have anyone in it with impulse control issues.

11. 3 years later I’m still recovering. Home ownership is still many years down the road, we both scraped buy to get our home together and divorced less than a year after. And not long after our divorce, she had a settlement from a discrimination case at her work (what idiots do blatantly illegal things to an HR Vice Director?!).

    So yeah, I didn’t get that financial windfall and I also work in a lower paying career, although by choice. I’m chipping away at my debts, but I absolutely love my work and don’t mind taking more time to sort out my finances as long as I’m loving what I do.

12. I don’t have kids, so can’t answer that part. My best advice to anyone getting divorced is that it is super expensive/scary at first then slowly (like maybe two years out?) you arrive at your new money “normal”. It gives you a new appreciation for saving and more careful spending habits.

13. He made more money, but weirdly – I was better off not living with him draining all the funds with his poor money management.
    It took a couple years though, but I saw the potential light after only a few months.

    200% would divorce again, but not planning to get married.

14. Yes. It was tough the first year (I have 4 kids and my youngest is medically complex so in and out of a hospital 3 hours from home every few weeks). I barely remember it between working 4am-10am shifts, trying to help my kids heal, processing things myself…
    But him spending most of his income on strippers and hotels meant that once a judge ordered child support and alimony, I actually had money in the account instead of trying to stretch $20 for a week after bills were paid.
    It wasn’t easy but it was worth every struggle to rebuild my family and be in a much better position overall now almost 6 years later.
    I was petrified we would be homeless/in my parents basement, and he basically told me that’s what would happen. So glad we proved him wrong.

15. I bought him out of the house at our negotiated price. I was honestly living paycheck to paycheck with barely any leftover. A month after our divorce finalized I started a new job that paid *a lot* more. I no longer live paycheck to paycheck and have been able to live and do all things he wouldn’t let me do

16. I’m one year out. At first it was a scramble; putting money into my deposit for my own place, changing my budget to be one income. Furnishing was slow for me; necessities at first and then slowly working on other things. My family did help; my aunt bought me a nice TV and my mom bought me a bed. But I worked hard and now have a good savings and ended up going back to grad school this year and still have savings while paying for school and everything else. Budget tight, stick to it, and be kind to yourself.

17. My ex was a financial drain. My current husband makes twice as much and is waaay more financially responsible. He pays his half of bills and we both have saved more money than we have ever had before. He also had a long term partner that didn’t pay their way.

18. I put a financial restraining order in place when I filed to protect everything. I walked away with the paid off house and 1/2 of our savings. I’ve received a few raises and have a thriving side hustle. The kid and I are enjoying life just fine.

19. Did financially better because I did emotionally better. Got away from a compulsive gambler. Life’s never been better.