me (20M) and my girl (19F) have trust issues. We’ve been together for almost 2 years, my longest relationship ever. She has a lot of guy friends and most of the time they flirt with her and she pushes it aside. I feel as if it should be addressed so other may respect our relationship. She just says I’m overreacting and over protective. What should we do to build our trust back? Is there a right or wrong person in the situation? Or am I just overreacting ?
5 comments
There isn’t much you can really do.. I think people learn from experiences. Your gf has probably not been cheated on in the past? so she doesn’t really see an issue with the behaviour she’s doing.
Like in my current relationship (I’m 30) both me and my gf have been cheated on in the past, so both of us are more sensitive to this kinda stuff, and so we respect the relationship above all. For example I would not go on a lunch with another woman alone, unless she already knew both me and my gf and she said it was okay. Likewise if a guy ever tries to hit on my gf or flirt with her, she just immediately tells them she’s in a relationship.
Some might argue you don’t need to be like that if you trust each other fully, but I don’t agree, I think you can trust each other fully and still take actions to respect the relationship.
Your gf isn’t doing that, but I think it’s mainly because she is young an innocent and so doesnt see an issue with it.
You can’t really do much about this because even if she agrees to you to push back more it, when you are not around she will likely just be herself again.
I don’t think you’re overreacting at all. I think you’re in the right completely and I think it’s you’re girlfriend’s responsibility to recognize that these guys who claim to be her “friends” should respect your relationship. ESPECIALLY FOR ALMOST 2 YEARS. That means you’ve been around along time. They’re hitting on her and making jokes and I mean hey in any situation in any case that’s disrespectful. It’s important to not come off like a piece of shit and rip her apart from her friends but make it clear that her “friends”are not respecting your relationship and this is something you take issue with. I’m sure you trust her 100 percent it’s the guys you don’t trust it’s the guys who are the problem not you
I agree with both these guys. She’s probably totally innocent to it and doesn’t see anything wrong and probably wouldn’t cheat if the situation arose. BUT it’s her “friends” responsibility to respect you and her responsibility to keep them accountable having you as her bf. It’s the same idea as someone sending her a flirty dm and instead of blocking them right away she replies and keeps them so she isn’t “mean” to them. They don’t have to leave on sight, but keep it in your pants and don’t be alone with them. Imo
Here’s the cynical view. She knows it’s wrong, but she loves the attention and doesn’t want it to stop. There’s a whole basket of excuses at the ready she can use to keep getting her way.
I’d be willing to bet that if the roles were reversed she’d not stand for it.
I think she enjoys the attention she is getting from the guys. Maybe ask her how she would react if you would get a lot of female attention?