30+ men with no/not much relationship experience, how do you handle dating?

35 comments

  1. 39yo ugly kissless virgin male here. I don’t need to handle dating. Never had any match on Tinder either (even though I swiped right on 50% of the women which is btw the male average right swipe rate) :). Before you ask I am simply attracted to very beautiful women only, that is why. I am a kind of maximalist in many things including women. I could have had a few from the lower end but unfortunately I am not attracted to them. I personally more or less accepted it, sometimes I have short bad periods (I think I am in right now) but apart from that you just accept it.

  2. We don’t, generally. I’ve never been on a date in my life, I can’t imagine what I would do in such circumstances. Probably have a panic attack and start crying.

  4. There’s nothing to handle, and at this point I’m fine with it. I’ve grown into a calm and orderly way of living.

  5. I started using one dating app. I expect nothing, and that is precisely what I get. At least I have more time for myself.

  7. There’s not a lot to handle when there’s so few results. My luck on dating apps has gotten worse each year, to the point where last year the only date I scheduled turned out to be a no-show

  12. 15 years of self improvement in various ways was not enough to get anyone interested.

    now i’m just too old and too set in my ways that I wouldn’t even try to change for anyone, I’m alone, and happy that way.

  13. tried dating apps dozens of times, different pictures, profile text

    presenting myself as stable, loyal, my things together

    3 matches in a month, one was fake, two others didn’t respond

    changed profile to “not interested in anything serious lol”

    oh there we go

    five damaged women in my phone, ready for hook-up, pathetic

    and believe it or not I even tried some cold approaches (two)

    have never been more embarrassed in my life

    the market is what it is

    37 now

    practicing embracing my work and my hobbies

  14. I didn’t have the most experience entering into age 30-31. Then out of nowhere age 31 I got a lot more activity. It mostly had to do with having friends (males with more dating experience and females both) look at my dating apps and clear up some red flags. Plus I developed my personality, and better hobbies (and better profile pictures), traveled a bit more, and was more professionally successful. I have been in a pretty happy relationship for about 1.5 years now, which is my longest relationship by far. About to get engaged.

    It is possible, but you have to be very harsh with your online image, get used to pushing your own boundaries, and be open to the idea that girls are screening your profiles for things that you’re not even aware of (ie. You may be inadvertently disqualifying yourself). And finally you have to get very lucky too. It’s a rough game to be honest.

  17. 36M here, never been on a date because I’m terrified of rejection and acutely aware of how little I bring to the table.

  19. It’s been years since I’ve been on a proper date. I used to get dates here and there through dating apps (that never lead to anything except this one time, which was just a two-date fling) but the past few years not anymore. I do miss it, a first date can be really fun.

  20. I gave up looking for love and relationships shortly before my 30th birthday. I’m now 38 and life is just fine! 😎

  21. In my opinion, it is not difficult with growing age. If you have been around women (sisters, mothers, friends) and observe them to understand how to treat women respectfully, you already are a step ahead. Go easy, smile, wear pleasant clothing, look presentable. Be genuinely eager to know about your date. Be okay with rejections remembering we all can’t match well with each other.

    I started in my early 30s as well, and was an awkward person initially. Picked up some desirable habits quickly along the way. Best of luck!

  22. I get about one, *maybe* two genuine matches in a really good year – usually with no replies to my messages. There ain’t much to handle here.

  23. It’s lonely as fuck.

    No one is even remotely interested in you, because you need to either own a dog, be ripped, jump bungee jumps, want to spend all your hard-earned money to visit places in the world, dive with sharks (I am terrified of open water and sharks, and surprise-surprise, all they ever want to do is to dive in open waters where there are sharks) – long story short, they want to be everywhere else but home.

    As an autistic person it’s very difficult to even land a date because we are build differently.

  25. I recently redownloaded Tinder after spending more than half a decade free from alcohol, having lost all my excess weight, got most of my life in order, hair, clothes, skincare, disposable income. I love myself now so I thought it would be a great chance to maybe open up a bit.

    I found a lot of the same women I saw on Tinder years ago except now they are fatter, some with children, one was actually pregnant and all of them just seemed like they had become worse people.

    I have no interest in adopting some loser woman after spending so much time, energy and dedication improving myself. I think any man in my position would be an idiot to bother much with women if that’s all that was available. I’m content with myself and with my friends. If someone compatible happens to show up, maybe. If not, who cares?

  27. i hope you are funny, you want to make them laugh, ask them questions, let them talk and ask questions on the topics they bring up.

    so the over all goal is to find out what their hobbies or what they’re in to and talk about them, in the end it depends on the woman you’re talking to.

    take a blue bell mini wheel of cheese as a back up plan, if all else fails present her the cheese and hope to god she’s seen the post or actually is [fascinated by cheese](https://www.unilad.com/news/book-claims-you-may-fascinate-a-woman-by-giving-her-a-piece-of-cheese/).

  28. I got prepared to live with the idea that I didn’t quite know how to date. A lot of women can spot my ignorance right off. Now, you’d think that they might show just a little sympathy towards me. DON’T BET ON IT!

    I’ve been insulted quite a bit by them. It really makes me wonder if they actually know they are. So, I just blow it, and them off. They don’t seem to care. Why should I?

  29. Yeah, I don’t, I know it takes hard work to have a good relationship, but I’m not willing to do the work. I take interest in the dynamic of dating, but it seems to be tiring seeing the mind games people play each against each other.

  32. Self improvement is a long road and dating only gets in the way.

    Between work, school, chores, commute, 6 gym days per week, and sleep I really don’t have time anyways.

  33. I don’t date so I guess I don’t handle it. I should probably at least give it a shot within the next year or two though.

  34. I only started to date around 27. Once it all kind of clicked I did really well, at least in hooking up with a few years long relationships.

    Most people have pasts and most people also stop with a lot of the bullshit. So in some ways its easier, some ways its harder.

  35. Its too late, I personally just avoid it at all costs. I realized I’m too inexperienced and the expectations are unrealistic. I’m 37 and I’ve seen and heard a lot so I just stay away from relationships and dating. Forever alone LETS GO!

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