I’m 22 years old and I just deleted instagram. I only have Snapchat, and it’s really just to occasionally communicate w close friends. I don’t post or anything like that. In a world now where social status seems so important, and social media being the best outlet to put yourself out there and show your worth, what do I do? I hated how much time I would put into social media but now I just feel so alone, like an outsider. It’s crazy, but I feel like I’m not worth much and I’m obsolete. Not only that, but it’s hard to relate and socialize with people, since social media seems so relevant to everybody. Idk, I don’t exactly have a question to ask here, but I feel somewhat hopeless. I have so many other outlets and ways of showing my worth but I feel like it’ll go unrecognized. I’m a mechanic, I work at a cemetery, I like to draw, do origami, go exploring, cook, etc. But I feel like it’s all irrelevant now. Thoughts?
4 comments
Nah its still good to have hobbies
Other people do not define who you are or what value you hold as a person.
You need to step farther away from social media, because you are still not seeing the trees for the forest. Social Media Does Not Matter. Fake Internet Points Do Not Matter. The Number Of Likes Your Post Receives Does Not Reflect The Quality Of Your Character.
As far as what to do about that? Not all social media is implicitly evil. Perhaps trying a good old fashioned focused forum if face to face socializing is not in the cards right now. /r/origami is a pretty cool place, and if you live anywhere near any kind of natural features, I would bet there’s hiking clubs and things. Cooking classes too.
What you’re experiencing is the same thing that throws most people trying to quit an addiction. How does life work in absence of this thing? Doesn’t matter the thing; what matters is that you are still in the stage of disconnecting where it doesn’t make sense. It feels exaggerative but legitmaitely for some people it can be as violent and alien as the pinnacle scene in Fire In The Sky, or Neo being disconnected from the Matrix for the first time.
Secret, though: it’s not as scary as it looks. It’s only hopeless if you let it be, if you don’t allow yourself to see that there is so much more world beyond “social media, y/n?”
Go to a bar, or a coffee shop. Go listen at an open mic night. Visit an outdoors store and see if they have any hiking clubs. Check around for cool things to go and draw.
The other thing that social media teaches us is that if we are not always participating in the social machine, then We Are Doing A Bad Job At Living And Deserve Misery. Bullshit. Absolute hokum. We didn’t need it for several millions of years, and we still don’t need it and honestly can be harmed quite easily by it.
Last but not least – you are twenty two years old. Did you know that your brain has not finished developing yet? That happens around 26. As your brainmeats aren’t even done cooking yet, I can say pretty certainly that your life is not over or hopeless, as much as it feels like it. And you can take that to the bank, because if life were really as hopeless as it feels for you right now, I would not be sitting here typing this to you. I dunno if I’d be in a pine box, or ash, or wishes honored planted beneath a good strong tree, but I’d not have a voice to speak or fingers to type this to you.
It sounds like you’re going through a very difficult time. I can relate to feeling like you’re an outsider. I’m sure many people on this subreddit can, too. It’s perfectly okay to not want to be a part of the social media culture and still be valid and respected. You mentioned that you have plenty of other interests and activities that you can focus on- are there any groups or organizations related to those activities that you can join? You can look for meetup type events or even a small hobby club to help you find people in real life. Also, I’d suggest that you foster relationships with people you already know in real life, like friends and family, to help you feel more connected and supported. It’s important to remember that there are plenty of people who don’t rely on social media for socialization and to define their worth. Hang in there!
I recently struggled at a job where I felt like I did really incredible work… but because I didn’t scream my successes at the top of my lungs I was actually demoted and given a boss. When that boss actually saw what I was doing it was too stressful on him and he had to take a leave from work. The owner of the company apologized to me and I told him to recognize his employees rather than be conditioned by “loud people”
My wife and I also have quite excellent jobs… my wife especially… like crazy money right now its shocking. But because we don’t shout it at the rooftops like her sisters. Her family thinks we are a bunch of dope smoking bums.
Do what feels right for you, social status shouldn’t mean sht.. just be a good person and spread good values. And GOOD people will recognize that.
Also on a side note, I felt like that at 22(or around that age) as well, I am only 35 now but I clearly remember everyone on facebook (when it first came out 🤣). We all had digital cameras and you all had to take the same picture and it was like a race whomever woke up first from their hangover to upload images to their computer from their cameras to facebook. It became more and more toxic in the group of friends I was in, and I look back now and cant believe how shitty those people were and really how awful they treated me… I had no idea while I was caught up in everything.
People are insanely addicted to social media and I have pretty much not used it since then, I barely get by here on reddit 🤣