1 (19F) work in a fast food place not too far from where I live. I’ve worked there about 6 months now and I’m quit close to everyone I work with. We’re like a little family.
Of course, Ive bonded with some people more then others, one of these people is a boy my age, Tom.
Tom trained me on my very first day and ever since then we’ve been good friends. We work in two different sections of the shop but whenever Im working hed come down to talk to me and make an effort to see me.
He would check when Im working and I would with him but we never said anything outright. He would always know my schedule. He dropped me home from nights out sometimes and check in with me to make sure I was ok when I was working in his section. There was always a tension and some flirtingbut nothing ever happened. I have his contact details.
Today was Toms last day working. All day he would linger around my section, which is the opposite side of the shop to his. Sometimes he would talk to me sometimes he would just stand there. When i was leaving he followed me as was clocking out and gave me a hug and he held me for a little while and I got really really upset that he was leaving. I ran into him twice more before I left as I got caught up talking to people. The first time I told him that I was nearly crying over it and he said he felt the same way. I could tell because he was standing in the doorway, holding the top of the door and shielding his face with his arms. He then came over and hugged me again and I did shed a tear over it and he held me for another while, telling me we’ll still see each other and he kissed my forehead.
The same thing happened just before i left and as he hugged me her rested his head on mine as hes a bit taller. He held me then in the hug for another little while.
To me, this felt a lot more like saying goodbye to what could have been between us then just saying goodbye to him. Its really affected me a lot more then it should.
I’m confused about how i feel. Maybe i felt a lot more towards him then just friends? Is that feeling mutual?
But heres the catch, Tom has a girlfriend of a few months. They got together shortly after we met. I would never make a move when they are together because it is not fair on her. But why is he acting this way with me?
This is what hurts me the most. Is the knowing that now I cant have him, when he made it clear to me today that he felt the same way. What do I do?
TL;DR
Feeling upset about a relationship that will never be. How do I get over someone I was never in a relationship with?
1 comment
It’s okay to feel confused and hurt, but it’s important to remember that acting on those feelings while he is in a relationship would not be fair to anyone involved. Take some time for yourself, focus on your own goals and hobbies, and try to move on from this crush. Maybe someday in the future, the timing will be right for you both to explore your feelings, but for now, respect his current relationship and focus on your own well-being.