I (19F) and my boyfriend (20M) have been dating long distance for the past 1.5 years and things aren’t as smooth as they used to be. For starters he recently joined college before the end of last year ( that’s how it is in my country) and I have been patient with him given the new changes he has undergone and that ours is his first ever relationship but i can’t take it anymore so here I’m venting on reddit.
For starters he forgets to even check up on me in a day, yes, not even a simple hope your day is going well text. It’s always me who checks up on him and asks him how his day is going. Sometimes i get a call once in a day whenever he seems free. I even fit his schedule into mine as I don’t want to annoy/burden him despite the fact I’m planning to enter law school this year. We have quite a few arguments regarding this too, he promises everytime to do so but doesn’t, even acknowledged during our last argument that he forgets that i exist sometimes because I’m not around him like i used to be. Rationalised this by saying that how his brain works. I cried a lot after that.
Secondly i told him to have movie night dates more often during weekends for bonding as we used to added he doesn’t go out much at night but he either agrees and forgets or says he’s too tired hence I have even stopped asking him about it now. I also send him gifts and stuff sometimes but it goes well under appreciated, so much so he forgets to open some. Thirdly the i love you’s have become almost non existent and it’s 90% of the time me telling him that first. He also doesn’t seem to even have time to listen to my everyday stuff that happens when we talk later at night and says he’s too busy, seems disinterested or goes he’s tired from his college work. I understand that college is tough but my bare minimum needs don’t even get acknowledged. I feel so frustrated and unloved but i don’t even wanna bring it up to him anymore because all i get is I’m sorry, I’ll work on it but the cycle continues.
He used to write poems, make silly artworks for me, text me random appreciation words because he said that was his way of showing his love as he’s more so of a physical language kind of guy but we are too far for it, but nowadays i get them as an apology after our arguments. It hurts me a lot seeing how he and things have changed and i possibly have even started to dislike him a bit due to all this but I don’t want to, Because i genuinely love him and care for him a lot. I just feel so underappreciated and unloved by him and im even wondering if staying is even worth it now.
TL;DR : i feel unloved and unappreciated by my boyfriend and it frustrates me a lot.