I (M23) really want to put an effort into socializing and working on my social anxiety. I actually think I’m good at conversation, but that initial fear/anxiety/potential awkwardness always holds me back. Also, the settings where I’m around people don’t seem like the best opportunities. I go to a commuter university, so most people stick to the friends they have from high school. Plus I’m 3-5 years older than most people in my classes at the moment, so I feel out of place. Next is the gym, but most in my gym have their headphones on (including me) so I feel like I would be bothering them. Finally, I signed up for rec leagues. This is an easy route for me. But they won’t start for another month or 2 and I want to get better in every setting.
How do I get over that initial anxiety? How do I shake the feeling of coming off creepy or that I’m bothering them? I don’t expect to make new friends right away, but I’m currently at 0. So anything socializing is better than none. I really want to get better at this over the next few months.
Thanks
1 comment
I don’t have the answer, but I will tell you as someone that suffers from social anxiety, that I’m happy to hear you want to face it head on. I’m twice your age and because I gave into my anxiety most of my adult life, I have missed out on friends I could’ve made and experiences I could’ve had. Now I ask myself, when someone approaches me and starts conversation, do I immediately go into judgement mode and start picking apart their conversations etc.? The answers is no, I appreciate friendly people, so now I try to speak and make contact out in the world. Some people are not responsive, but most people are. For the people that aren’t, maybe they also suffer from social anxiety and may be uncomfortable responding to my attempt at conversation. It’s tough, but keep trying, keep putting yourself out there and eventually it will be a little easier. I’m not over it for sure, but I’ve gotten better.