Ive (23M) been seeing this girl (21F) and we’re going on our 6th date this coming week. Ive planned a little romantic dinner. We were talking on facetime last night for about 2 hours and i finally got the courage to ask about her relationship goals with us two. She mentioned that shes never been in a long term relationship (or much relationship experience at all). Neither have I to be fair. She mentioned she had little fling last year with a guy that ended poorly bc she became anxious and impatient and affected her priorities, so she wants to take things slow with me. I honestly dont mind but it just confuses me more on finding the proper time to ask about exclusivity and sex (sex isnt a priority but dont want to initiate when she isnt ready). wondering how to go about it.
3 comments
there is no “proper time” if you two are getting comfortable around each other just bring it up! as a girl myself i’d want it to be brought up in a way that makes me feel no pressure for example “i don’t expect anything from you and there is no pressure for this stuff to happen but i was just wondering … because it’s been on my mind” but at the end of the day if you both have little to no experience it’s better for you as you can both explore what you’re into together!
I asked my gf if she’d like to be my gf on date 3. If you want to try a committed relationship with this girl, state your intentions. Tell her you think she’s awesome and you don’t want to keep dating other people, so you’d like her to be your gf. You can go as slow as you want after that.
Don’t bother asking about sex it happens when it happens. Or if you invite her over just say you’re not expecting anything to happen no pressure just want to spend some time together. Say something like, “hey just to make sure we’re on the same page; I take dating pretty seriously and I’m looking for a serious relationship with you. Is that what you want too?”